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Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Years Prayer

New Years Prayer:
Lord, as this New Year opens before us: Teach us how to love more fully. May our hearts walk more humbly, may our lives be yours more completely, may our passion for You be ignited more strongly, may our hope be more placed in You, may our fears be less strong, may we cease to believe lies, may we put others before ourselves, may we follow you no matter the course, may we find our joy in You, may we be less selfish, may we worship more freely, may we serve more willingly, may we share more easily, may we study more thoroughly, may we pray more without ceasing, may we forsake the worlds offers, and may we become more holy, and become more filled more with Your Holy Spirit. This year Lord, May we become more yours, and less full of of pride…Lord, this year may we become more like You.
For over every self centered resolution we may have, and over every hope for the accomplishments ahead, may we instead desire most deeply to be more like You.
 
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May we be like the clay in Your hands. As the wheel of time turns, as the seasons change, as we grow, may we follow your creativity for our lives. May we desire Your will for us, more than our own will or way. You are the Master Artist. We seem to forget that sometimes. We get to busy, and so caught up in what we 'want' to accomplish, or what we 'need' to accomplish that we forget that the most important thing is what 'You' create in us, 'You' do through us, and the plans you intend for us and our lives. We think about the new year, we think about all the things we 'desire' in the new year, and what 'we' did or didn't accomplish in the past year. But really, time on earth is all about what God does. The whole story revolves around Him. We think it revolves around us. We think we are the Master Artists of our ("big") little worlds, and that what makes a year, what makes a life, is ourselves...but it's not true. What good is my life if it isn't surrendered to the Christ? Sometimes I only wish I felt more, I believed stronger, and didn't do the failing human thing to do, and that is let me pride or 'self focus' blur my vision or passion for Messiah. I only know, that I am nothing without the Lord. I have never been, and never will be. The best in life, He has created, and the best in me 'He' has created. Choice is the only power that I possess; and the choice is whether I will surrender more, and let faith be cultivated more. New Year is when people think about the changes they want to make in their lives. We should be doing this everyday, but most of us don't. You only have one life. Now is a good time to ask yourself what kind of life you are leading, and how much God is a part of it. Your 'art' reflects what inspires your heart, and what possesses it. What does your art reflect? The world? doubt? indecision? paganism? or... Messiah? Faith? Trust? and the Gospel? You only have one life to make the difference in eternity. How much of it do you live for the Master Artist? How much do you keep from Him? I hope that tonight, and this morning, as you ponder the New Year, or celebrate it, that you would take the time to get on your knees or say a silent prayer to the Lord. Ask Him to be the most important thing in your life, the most wonderful thing, and to fill you up. Change...this is what a lot of people think about on the New Year. You have the opportunity to change every day. God's Grace is sufficient for you. I pray you will give God, what He asks of You, or has been asking of You. Don't ever be afraid to give to God something that He asks of You. He will never take what He will not give back better than you imagined. I pray if you have not; that you would ask God to fill you this year. To fill your heart, to satisfy your heart. Ask Him, believe He will, and receive of the Lord. I pray that you my sisters and brothers would be filled with more faith this year. May your faith abound, may your love expand, and may God soften your hearts and minds and wills to follow Him without hesitation. I pray that for you fellow art-istic folk, that God would shine through your lives. That you would be filled with passion, that you would recognize and truly become more inspired by the Life and Sacrifice of Christ. I pray this year that you would know even more what life is truly about. It's about knowing the Master, and being filled with His passion to work for His purpose. He loves you. I pray this year, and that every day, the love in your hearts for Christ would grow. This is the important thing. Because if you know Him, You love Him. And if You Love Him...You will be an artist after "GOD's" own heart! The love of God inspires that best things in life; unselfish love for others, and a humble service to mankind. The Best artist is inspired by something bigger than his/or herself. The best artists are vessels, the best artists serve. Follow Christ's example. He is the best Artist, the best Master, and His life is the most amazing ever to walk the earth. God is God. Remember that this 2012. Put Him as your focus. He is your hope for change, and the giver of all things 'best'. Glory be to Him!

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Choice: When Passions Grow Dim and Hearts Grow Cold

There's a lot of different choices we can make in life; but this blog post is particularly about a 'certain' choice....
 I find it rather strange how sometimes I go to do something that I've done a trillion times, and then one day I'm suddenly faced with vast complications. I'm continually discovering that I really have a lot to learn... 
Just when you may think you have learned what you need in order to succeed, you are faced with a hindrance. There are two ways you can respond 1. Panic: Give Up, and believe that life is just to hard, and that you will never succeed 2. Face it: Keep moving forward, take the chance to learn, and believe that you can progress! Life takes courage. We have to keep up our stamina, not only physically but mentally and spiritually. I'd like to give a few examples of this; First of all, I have this scripture that keeps entering my mind and that is "Do not be surprised at this fiery trial, as if something strange were happening to you". I know that it had a particular meaning in 1 Peter 4:12 about not being surprised if you suffer for Christ, and I don't want to do the verse injustice, but I feel that it relates also to this topic. I think a lot of times, when things are going fine, we do what we need to do, we go about our daily routine, and then one morning we are faced with some strange hindrance. For a 'physical example'; I've been singing for a very young age. I never took singing lessons, but I did  take music lessons growing up and got a few tips from my teachers, and they encouraged me to project more, and helped me improve my vocals. Well, ever since I've been writing songs, and playing them with instruments and singing away. Until one day recently, I woke up, I went to the piano, try to sing one of my songs, and oddly I become quite aware of my lack of breath. And so I start to practice breathing more, and then I begin to not be able to breathe, and then my voice seems to disintegrate. To top it off my Mom notices and this makes it all the worse, as I'm trying my hardest to be able to sing, more than ever before, and yet it sounded like I was just squeaking out the lyrics. Horrid days...The panic strikes. Of course this isn't 'all' that presided my sudden lose of vocal'ity. First was the fact that I'm going to get a CD recorded of my songs in January. I was rather excited and anxious about it, because I have waited for this for a very long time. I've been wanting to do it for years. So this adds to the horror of my sudden 'reason for panic'. Fact number two, is before I suddenly became aware of what I thought to be 'shallow breathing' I felt passionless spiritually. I suppose my 'reason' for singing wasn't exactly grounded in what it had before. Yet after all my preparation for this time in my life, when I could actually get a CD recorded of my songs; how could it be that suddenly my passion isn't as strong? ...As I type this I shiver inside. (this may have something to do with the weather ) but really I don't feel all that cold. Perhaps it is because I'm opening the hatch on some truths that personally need to penetrate my life ... Because really; In this life we have to fight for what we 'have' in order to keep it, and we have to be willing to step out in bravery to receive and accomplish what it is that we haven't attained. At this moment I think of Pilgrim's Progress. I haven't read the book in years. But perhaps now would not be a bad time to pick it up. Right now, if I could easily sketch it, I would draw the picture of a man fighting to protect what He has, and daring forward to attain what He does not. When I think of the title of the book I just mentioned, "Pilgrim's... 'Progress'" It reminds me that life is process; of growth, of learning, of fighting...It helps for me to think of my name before 'progress' as the title of my story. In reality, we all live a story much like that of Pilgrim's Progress inside our souls. We all have a choice when we are tried or face obstacles, either to: 1. Panic: Give Up, believe that life is just too hard, or that we will never succeed 2. Face it: Keep moving forward, take the opportunity to learn, and believe that we can 'progress'!

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you".... ~ 1 Peter 4:12

 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. ~ 1 Peter 5:8,9

This is really in the spiritual sense...I believe though that in life most all of our 'passionlessness', 'doubt' is spiritually connected. Satan doesn't want us to succeed, or be vessels for the Lord's work. He does not want us to be passionate about Christ and the Gospel. Not only does He not want us to be 'on fire' for our God, but he wants us to give up on life. Our fleshes are pretty weak. We give up quickly. At the first sign of hardship, we sit down and pout. We want the finished product, we want the finish line, we want the easy way up and out. Physically, Mentally, Spiritually we can be pretty weak. We need to do all things unto the glory of God. If we give our all, in no matter what we do, we are an example to others of someone who 'doesn't slack' and for some reason even non-christans and most all mankind has this respect for those who no matter the odds, 'go hard' and 'accomplish the goal'. I'm sure you've also heard it said "The harder the goal, the more rewarding the triumph"....Sometimes I see myself in the place Pilgrim was when he laid on the dungeon floor in the Giant's castle. Hopeless; because I fail to believe that I can make it out and make it to my destination. I don't really think this so much in the big picture of reaching the Kingdom, but in terms of accomplishing somewhat smaller goals, in various areas, some of which are particularly God centered, others of which are work for others, and even things I must pull through in doing for my own good. But you know, all along I have the key to opening the giant's dungeon door. Whenever I lay there motionless on the floor of the cell that (either the work of Satan has formed, or a dungeon I have made for myself), I have the key all along. God gave it to me at the cross. And there are sometimes, I must admit, that we can't do things or accomplish things, even if we are re lit with the courage or the 'passion'. Some things can only be accomplished by surrendering to God, and calling out on Him to be our rescue.

He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youth will become exhausted, and young men will give up. "But those who wait on the Lord, He will renew their strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40: 30-31

There are times when we are without passion, and we can't seem to make ourselves 'feel' anything. Whether mentally, physically, spiritually, or all of the above. There are times when our hearts feel cold, and our desire to move ahead dead. There are some obstacles that we are tired of dealing with, there are those times when all we hope for is the end, but don't know how to get to the destination. We need to not only keep our eyes on the goal, our hearts a fire with love and passion for that which is beyond the finish line, but we must learn how to 'run the race', 'progress', 'learn', 'grow'. Sometimes our eyes can be so set on having what's ahead that we do not learn how to embrace the opportunities for growth. We do not have open hearts towards learning, only obtaining, completing, or accomplishing. The true prize, is what we have learned in life. What really makes up our prize is not that we ran an easy race, without hindrances, but that we learned how to be victorious through, and over the hurdles. We must cultivate a passion and a patience, for learning. There is no 'success', if there is no 'growth'. We cannot expect to be perfect, or all knowing, in anything we do, whether in physical ways, knowledge, or in the way of the spiritual without refining, or without taking those hindrances ( learning opportunities) and not only enduring them, but taking the step into learning from them. You may be thinking; I can't do this on my own, I just don't always have the stamina, or the passion. And you are right. There are times when this comes down to 'You' and your choice, whether or not you will take the oportunities around, or sit and pout and wish things were completed by the blink of an eye. If you choose the second of the two,  You will one day realize that you never get anywhere by sitting and wishing, only by putting a foot in front of the other. And then there is that second synario; where you've tried but you just can't seem to conjur the motivation to move ahead. And no matter what you may be facing, I would encourage you by saying the best you can do is to 1. Remember what it is that you desire 2. Rekindle or let your desire and/or (love) for it be re lit 3. Ask the Lord to give you the stamina/strength you need to do what you need to do and to glory Him with it.  But I realize that in my life so far, that the best things I can do are those which God motivates in me. I realize that on my own things are harder to accomplish, even if they are goals that aren't exactly that of ministry, or Christ-centeredness. Of course I want to have a balance in that I want to give my all in everything I do. But most importantly, I have discovered that God's motivation, and the passion that comes from a relationship with Him is the most fulfilling and most meaningful. I am of little worth without Him. So, If you and I can make the right choice to: 1. Not to give up, Face whatever it is that blocks the way. Keep moving forward, take the chance to Learn, and believe that wecan progress; if we do this in the things for ourselves, we will do ourselves a big favor, if we do this in our spiritual walk we will not only do ourselves a favor, we make it possible for the Lord to continue to use us and bless others through us.
So when passions grow dim, and when your heart seems cold; when the choice stands before you; Choose the way of the Victorious. Don't give up, Keep the Fiath, Don't be lazy, Keep your mind open to learning, and Keep Christ first...You will go far this way.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Going for My Goals

I've got a few creative/artistic outlets, gifts, talents that I would like to use....It just seems sometimes that the process is way too long in getting them out into the air. That really frustrates me. I like music a lot, I enjoy writing song lyrics especially, and putting  together new songs and singing them...but sometimes I feel like it is one of my toughest areas of creativity, because it is the one that stretches me the furthest. It's not only confusing to me in many ways, but sometimes the way seems very dim and hopeless. Out of all of my talents, artistic expressions, gifts...this one's downs are the worst. And lately, it's easy to feel that I will never succeed in doing anything worth while with it, even though I've been told in the past that it is a gift I've been given. But, there's just sooo many strings attached to this package. Sometimes I worry that I will pull the wrong one, and the package will all fall apart, until nothing remains. So, yes I've been praying about it. I'm anxious, and I must admit, a bit pessimistic about it. No, it's not intentional, although pessimism is actually derived from a certain amount of doubt. Lately, I feel voiceless. Not only voiceless, but slightly afraid. Afraid that things will get too drawn out, I will fumble, and my goal will never be accomplished. I know, it's wrong to think that way. And like I said, this is the way I think when I am 'not' intending, it's kind of like 'subconsious'. I'm finding that not only have I become afraid of projecting (which I never was before) but I've nurtured again, the fear of 'failing'. I need to not be pessimistic about this. I just need to get my head up out of the fog, say a prayer in faith and do the dirty work. Pick up the weight of the package, and take it climb up hill. You see what makes my dreams weak, and what ever makes me weak, is when I have lost sight of the prize. The gift/ talent/ is nothing in it's self, if you don't have a purpose for it. Has my purpose dimmed? God, please...
I know, I'm nothing without You. Nothing without Love. I wish I wouldn't put up the walls, I wish my things weren't so complicated. Please Lord, give me the courage to face it all. I am weak, but You are strong. The Enemy, let him fall to the back. Doubt, let it pack up and leave. I walk ahead, I move forward, I re focus my eyes on the purpose. I surrender my fears, insecurities, failures to You, and in return You will give me Your peace. Thank You for Your patience. Let's do this!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Nothing is Worth it unless you Believe It

...Something I wrote last week on my other blog:  http://www.christcenteredcreativity.blogspot.com/

 ~ Nothing is 'Worth it' Unless you 'Belive' it ~
I know. I know. It's back to those intangible words, those intangible concepts...those verbs that people take and make like they all hang on 'emotions', and 'feelings'. And you've probably had enough of that sort of advice. Seems everything depends on 'actions', and frankly you aren't motivated enough to make it through by your own will. You cannot muster it. You cannot 'make' yourself feel different. Or can you?
Did you know that 'nothing' is worth it; worth the 'feeling', worth the 'dedication', worth the 'striving', if you do not 'mentaly acknowledge it as so', if you do not 'believe' it is.
Test it on yourself. Test and see; nothing is possible for you if you don't give room for hope.
This does not mean you have to be doing something you 'like' to do in order to succeed. But it means, that no matter what you are doing, you must have some sort of 'hope' even if that is in a 'finish', or else you will not pull through. I've discovered even in my own life, that a lot of the things that I complain about, or just don't have the passion for, are things that either I tell myself I cannot accomplish, or tell myself 'are not worth it'. Because I know that if I 'think something is worth it' I give my all to it. But I also realize that if I 'believe' something is 'not worth getting passionate about, or giving my mind to' I cannot accomplish it. Sometimes this can be rather ridiculous, but for example; I have recently recognized this playing out with little things; such as getting up and making tea, sometimes in doing something for myself, or a favor for somebody else. If I do not to some degree 'let myself desire' or 'believe it is worth it' I am of little power to serve others, or even myself.

This also comes down to a certain other topic. Belief is based on receiving facts, trusting them, and acting on them.... But also on the topic of feeling... you must also be willing, and believe that it is 'worth while' to 'feel'. This is something I am just learning more about this past year. I, being not the very easily 'emotionaly' motivated kind of person in certain areas, has gradually let herself believe that most emotions are not only misleading, but immature. In short, I have believed before that 'emotions'...most...are just not 'worth it'. Inside.
And there is a common theme here. A lot of people who profess that they are not the 'passionate type', or even on other scales, 'the outgoing type', 'the religious type' etc... have taken aspects of their personalities, offenses from others, lies of Satan, and intertwined them to make a rope. They hang themselves from this rope, high above the rafters, overlooking society, and believe...they are somehow separated from humanity, and therefore nobeler. How they can confuse being agnostic with nobility I am yet to want to know. But the fact is, they do. It's not something they will admit, actually it's not something most consciously praise themselves for, it's more or less a deeper thing.

You know. Passion, motivation, feeling...they go deeper than you may realize. A lot of our personality, has a lot to do with our spirituality. Each of us have a different personal relationship with God. Not surprisingly, the way we communicate with others, is pretty similar to the way we communicate with God. Everybody has the right to the special way He communicates. Not everybody is the same. Not everybody feels the same, nor receives the same.
The important thing though, is not that we defend ourselves, but that we recognize lies, and do not believe them. So my question to you is; what is it that you believe is 'worth' it? This doesn't mean you have the same way of showing it as someone else does. But ask yourself, what is 'worth' it to you? If you ask yourself this, and cannot think of one thing, on any level that you would be willing to act on, I would say you could use a change in prospective.

The second question is this; what things have you told yourself 'are not worth it' when in reality, you put up walls from believing, or feeling it's worth. Man's will is a powerful thing. There is a lot to say about those who 'go hard', and actually 'believe' they can accomplish their goals. You will begin to get more from life, if you actually believe things are worth while, than not.
Beyond the fact, a lot of things we have to do in life are things we do not want to do, nor know why we have to do them. To a degree, that I hadn't realized before, you must have a certain amount of courage and mental motivation to do all most anything. Lately, I have been failing at this, because I have believed a few obvious misconceptions. Perhaps you can relate to some of the bellow...

1. That love in general, should depend on what I think of a person

2. That some things are not worth it, when in reality I am just letting
my 'lack of motivation' make my lazy

3. That the only things worth while are those that I can accomplish
without trial and error

4. That success is not a journey

5. That life is made up of sit, or run...not jog

These points...are untrue. Frankly, lies...

I want to live life to my fullest. I only have one life. I need to break out from the ropes that hold me back. Open up my eyes.
Love. You know what you believe about it is really a big factor. Because honestly, love is the biggest motivator. Second is 'Like' (when you like something so much it motivates you).
But, did you know that Love is not what most people think, or claim it is? The Fruit of Love, is actually actions that depend not on whether or not you 'like' a person etc...Love does not come down to that. Joy has also is common in this way to Love; both of them do 'not' and should 'not' depend on circumstances, or feelings. It's something that God motivates in us. Something we do not muster.
In so, a man cannot truly love without God. Nor have true 'Joy'.

A Man can be 'moral' according to his own 'ever subject to change', standards. And he can also have 'happiness', which is also subject to change, with his circumstances. But Love, and Joy...they are what lasts through fire. They are what upholds the martar though he be persecuted unto death.
So you may be the sort of person that doesn't much become motivated by 'emotions' as some. But real Love...real Joy; you should never give up on, or believe them to be of less power than they are. Keep them, and live by them.

Second Point; It's important that you realize, that nothing you do not believe is 'worth it' will you truly accomplish. You make yourself powerless, by your lack of belief. You have the power to choose, what you will let yourself believe to be true. Don't be lazy. It's not 'worth it'. Serve others. Do things as unto God. It's 'worth it'. I can't promise that I always let myself act on that, because I don't. I sometimes let my mental point of view, or will, apathize myself. I'm not proud of the fact. But I know it's true.
Think about what you may be missing out on, every time you close your eyes and choose to serve your own lack of care. When you serve others, you serve yourself. Also, If you cannot serve others, most likely you cannot serve yourself.

I've believed for example; that 'learning' some things, is not 'worth it'. I've believed that 'reading' to a great extent, is not 'worth my time', in the past, so therefore I have chained myself. And I have to work on giving my attention to some things.
I would recommend always having a openness to not only learn, but to discover things by yourself, so that you are not always dependant on teachers. God doesn't want to give us good minds, and us put them to waste. Sometimes that may mean putting them to waste on unnecessary study, wrong information, or education, but also this means putting up walls toward knowledge and learning.
Be open to bettering yourself. Yet lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways 'accnowledge Him'.

Point Three; The Best things in life, the most worth while things in life...are sometimes those that take a whole lot of effort to accomplish, obtain or live out. You have to be willing to believe that the price is worth the prize. This is all a matter of how you see the 'prize' its' self. Your view of the prize, will determine the motivation, and your willingness to pay the 'price' for it.
For example;
" The Kingdom of Heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; that which when a man has found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goes and sells all he has, and buyeth the field."
Again the Kingdom of heaven is like unto a Merchant man seeking godly pearls: Who when he found a one pearl of great price,went and sold all that he had and bought it". ~ Matthew 13: 44 -46
Don't believe that nothing is worth your tears, your strain, your sweat, and your devotion. It is not how Christ would have you live, and it is rejecting how God has purposed you. He 'wants' you to believe, and receive His love. He wants you to seek 'good', and sacrifice for it. Do not let little things hinder you from obtaining the prize. We have a tendency to inflate little things, and see them bigger than they are. They expand in our heads, and suffocate our hopes and aspirations. Don't give in. It's important that you do not coward, and give up to quickly. Life is not an accomplishment, nor is success without the track. There are obstacles, there are prices, and things you must do, in order to receive the prize. Remember also, that Success is made up of 'learning' and 'growing'. Success is a process, a 'life time' perhaps, when seen in close prospective. You can only do great things, if you are willing to do little things. For every great thing, whether that be in landing a good job, composing a symphony, building a sky scraper, etc...is also made up of little things, that make the big thing possible. Do not revolt the little things. Be full of courage, knowing that if you are honest, temperate, and give your best you will climb the ladder to bigger things. God gives us little things sometimes, as tests for what we will do with the bigger things. Focus on the prize. If the prize doesn't mean anything to you, than I doubt you will pay the price.

Point Four; We must realize that life is a journey. We must be courageous, give our best, and Trust God with the rest. Sometimes we may overlook the best possible gifts of our lives, if we think we should be in different places, with different people, in a different station, working a different job. Sometimes the grass may seem greener on the other side, but we must ask ourselves; "what makes that grass greener?" Is it a missing ingredient? Is it the way I view it? Or is it possible that I can cultivate the grass on this dull side, to one day grow just as green? These are the questions we should consider pondering. We should always do the best with what we have. Sure, things could be easier...but that doesn't mean they would be, or are, 'better'.
It is not enough that you do something great 'once' in your life, and think that will hold you over for the rest. It is not enough that you land a good job, make the grade, rescue the princess to make your life count. One act shouldn't be what you base your life upon. 'Success' is not a goal reached, but a life lived. It's what you do every day that counts, it's as if life counts entirely as a whole. Each day being the only whole you will ever live in. For once you are there in the day, you can not be certain of tomorrow. For Today, is truly, all we ever have.
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today?
Today is a gift, that is why they call it 'the present' ;) - Eleanor Roosevelt

Point Five: As much as we'd like to think it is. Life is not always as black and white as 'run' and 'stop' there is a lot of 'walking' and even 'jogging' that goes on for the individual. Just because things aren't like you, or I think they should be does not mean that they are not of purpose. Just because something is not 'the top' does not mean it is 'not worth climbing' in order to 'get to the top'. There are the storms in life, there are highs in life, and then there are those unfeeling, seemingly un-important times, where nothing seems to be happening...the dryness of the deserts of life. They eat at you worse than most anything... Because in a sense they are something we do not understand, something we cannot do much about. Also, take time to appreciate the times, the things, the scenery, 'inbetween'. Use the 'inbetween lands' as trusting grounds. And even if they seem worthless; you will look back one day and realize that they really were some of your deepest times of inward growth. The kind of growth that you cannot see when it is happening, the kind that takes place inside. Don't panic, don't scream, time will go on, and if you don't believe lies that say 'nothing is worth while' or 'nothing will get better' and choose to keep stepping forward, one foot in front of the other...you will one day leave the 'inbetween land' for 'higher' grounds.

I like Emerson's quote on success. But I'm going to tweak it a bit:
"To rejoice often and much, to earn the respect of wise people and the love of children, to learn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, offenses, let downs, and 'inbetween lands'... to appreciate true beauty, to think on good, acceptable, things, to serve others...to know that even one life has been touched by your own. Thus to hear "Well done my good and Faithful Servant". This is to have succeeded.

Some final quotes to sum up:

1. The love of our neighbor is the only door out of the dungeon of self. - George Macdonald

2. Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing
on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson
( You will invest your life in Something, or you will throw it away on Nothing. - Haddon Robinson)

3. We are blind until we see, That in the human plan, Nothing is worth the making
If it does not make the man. Why build these cities glorious, If man unbuilded goes?
In vain we build the world - Unless the builder grows. - Edwin Markham

4. Your life begins to change when you change something you do every day. - John C. Maxwell

5. Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things and I'll show you a man who cannot
be trusted to do big things. - Lawrence D. Bell

So, consider the boundaries you have made for yourself. Consider that which you believe. If you believe not, you will not put your foot forward, and from what you do not bank upon, you will not
receive from. Don't expect to wake up one day and expect to receive the fruit, of what you have
not worked for. The measure of a man's character is defined in how he reacts, and how he goes forth.
What is 'worth' it? You may not be the 'passionate type', you may not be the 'emotional type', you may not be the 'dreamer type', the 'get it done type', the 'doer'. But in life you will realize that sometimes we form our own boundaries, we take something of our personality, and use it as perhaps a 'cop out' or a 'clutch' or even... let it rule our lives. We become slaves to our inabilities, or our personalities. God wants to use 'you', you have special qualities, a special way you can shine His light, a unique way you can communicate, and also special talents, or ways that you particularly can serve. Ask God what these may be, discover who God made you. Do this so you won't miss out on your 'destiny' on earth, your 'purpose', so to say. Do this not only for yourself, but for others...and for God. But the fact is, you must believe that 'it' is worth it. That God is worth it, that others are worth it, and that it's all 'worth while'.
Ask God to free you from any lies you have believed. Take a breath. Choose to Love. Choose to Step forward. There may be bleak times, there may be things you can't made immediate sense of, there may be times of apathy...you may not become a 'different person', but what is important, is that you not only be 'you', but that you be 'the best you'...the you that is liberated, the you that is courageous, and the you that God would be proud of. To know that you gave your best, did your best...that's what's important. Seek God first, of course. Just remember. Believe to motivate you to receive. Run the race. Receive the crown. God has good things in store on earth for those who are willing to surrender to Him.
Believe it!

and Remember;
Sometimes
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult". - Seneca

Monday, December 12, 2011

Paintings


Painting, Drawing...those traditional artistic mediums...I've never counted them as my forte. But I've picked up painting again recently. I've found that I really enjoy it. I just used some of my old acrylics, but had I used oil I feel I could have done more mixing, shading, and such to make it look more realistic. Anyhow, here they are.





                           This Painting was inspired by 'Owl City's' most recent album cover.
The name of the album is 'All things Bright and Beautiful'.
 



                                      The black in the background is actually smoke, but
                                     I like how it looks like mountain, crevasse, 'shadows' as well.
                                    It has like a duel purpose.This painting was inspired by a video.
                                    I just painted a shot/scene of it.
 
 



                                         This painting was just something that came to me...
                                          I added the quote by Blaise Pascal.





Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Finger Paint Worship


So in youth group we all gathered, in a hardly lighted room, sat on the floor...Music was put on, and  we were supplied finger paint. And so the Youth Pastor encouraged all of us to face the walls and use painting/ drawing as a time of Worship Expression. This is what I painted. It was my firs time finger painting, so that was great :) I enjoyed it a lot. It was also pretty cool, when we flicked the lights on and we could actually see what I had painted haha. Well I came back a week after we had painted, and found the Youth Pastor had hung my finger painting near the entrance....

Direction In Art

An Art of the Heat Matter:

Right now the thoughts that are rushing through my head are questions and concerns.
To get down to the heart of it; I'm trying to figure out, and am asking God to show me the balance between using my talents and gifts to make money, and using them as a ministry. I've never really believed that ministry and making money are supposed to go hand in hand. Actually I seem to be quite a separatist when it comes to this topic. Because, I am the "go hard" kind of person, when it comes to beliefs. I don't like mediocre. I don't like inbetweens. Give me sit and I will sit, give me run and I will run, but please don't give me jog. Yeah, that kind of person. And for me it's not really a physical thing with me, as it is a mental thing. It's because I want to be able to be passionate about someone or something, to give my heart to it.
So, right now I'm asking God. "What would you have me do?"
The world pushes careers, the world pushes jobs, the world pushes 'making something of yourself'.
I'm not too taken in by it's lies, or by the pressure to 'make something of myself' or 'promoting myself' at this time. But I am a bit concerned when it comes down to what disgraces God and what wastes my talents.
I suppose I believe that Talent and Gift are actually two different things/categories. Sometimes a person's talent is also their spiritual gift, but not always. I want to use the gifts I've been given to glorify God.
I just don't want to slip up. I don't want to sell out on 'giving it all' on a few bucks, or any amount!
I don't know about you, but I put up dividers in my creativity. And right now I'm trying to figure out, what dividers are of God, and which ones I've put up based on false evidence, fear, or laziness.
You see, I've always thought that if I used something I have given to God, or has been personal between me and God, for my own gain, or on stage, than it's like I've failed.. But more curious, is the fact that I'm cautious in sharing some of my God given gifts with others who are 'skill' minded. First reason being, In the past...I've not tried to be 'talented', or 'skilled' in my worship, and I don't plan on 'making my worship skilled'. I just want it to be 'God focused', and not 'my ability focused'. And also, I think it's because I don't want to use anything that I find to be my form of worship, and sell it, market it, or draw attention to myself with it. Make sense? I don't want to 'do' for the eyes of man firstly, but for the eyes of God.
But then again, I am in a pickle, because I want to share the gifts God's given me to serve. It's nice to have a special form of worship, or some worship that is only between me and God. But, I need to reach out beyond that line as well. Am I prepared? Am I ready? Am I willing; on a bigger scale?
God you know what you have created me for. You know my personality, my talents, my gifts, and everything that I hope for. Please put me where You'd have me. Please lead me according to Your world, and Your will.
I know that God gives freely. He has given to us all freely. I want to also want to share with others about Him freely...It's been my dream, my hope. But sometimes I know we have to walk beyond our own plans, and do what we have to do. I just don't want to let God down, I don't want to get caught up and become the center of attention. Please Lord, guide me in the balance.
I just don't see how anyone who wants to really serve the Lord, can be satisfied with going to work every day doing something they don't enjoy doing, for the sake of money.  Even if I liked what I do, I still have a wall up towards a future of using my gifts for a career. And I'm aware it's made up of many elements. Personality, Fear, Laziness, and strong will. I just want to serve God, and do good in His sight .I must have been made of ministry, because I don't see how I could be happy not being able to 'go hard for Christ' in whatever I do.   But I don't want to box myself in, and tell myself  "things must only be this way" in order for me to share what God has given me.

The truth is we all need guidance. No matter how well we think we have things under control, or know what we want in life...We could all freak up our lives, if we aren't in submission to God. I plan to pray even more about this sort of thing. To pray what "God" would like for my life. Just because I may "think" things should be a particular way, doesn't mean that I have it all together. The scripture says "Trust in the 'Lord' with all your heart, and 'lean not' on 'your own' 'understanding'. In all your ways, 'acknowledge Him...and He shall direct Your paths...Direct my Paths Lord. I belong to You.

And I pray also Christ will calm your own fears, doubts, and fill you with courage. May He guide you, as you seek His will..  God knows the very center/ the heart of every individual. He has given many amazing gifts and talents to many amazing people. I pray You will let Him use you as well.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Acceptance (Intro)

You sit to paint a picture, but your art is insecure, the lines define a confusion and an inner desire to be known... You walk the sidewalk holding your camera; stirred from the ache inside yourself. You take shots of random passerbys and ponder what you've been told "that you must make something of yourself". At first you just attempt it. You make your way over the the bench and stare out at the park. You finger the shutter, and then take the shot. Again you try it out, this time on a different subject. You tilt your camera for another angle. Suddenly it hits you, you feel the shot, like a rush of adrenaline. You review. Something changed inside. For all you know, is this might be your chance, your way, to make something of yourself, to be significant...You'll let your artistic expression lead the way.

                                                                            * * * * *
Do I feel accepted for who I really am? Do I feel understood? What about my future? Who will I become? Do you ever ponder these questions? Or if you asked them to yourself now, would you be satisfied with the answers?
I figure each one of us is looking for acceptance, or love for who we are, or who we 'think' we are.
No matter how we view ourselves, we want to be accepted and admired in the eyes of others.
Our actions prove the fact that either we feel accepted, or we do not. Whether we show it in the way we hold ourselves, in the pictures we paint, or the videos we create.
It doesn't much matter if you don't feel you have any creative ability, what I hope to discuss in the following chapters in topics that are not only relevant to the Artist, but to every human being.
We all, big and small are effected by the "influence" of someone or something. And that influence can greatly effect the way we view our Purpose, our Future, and our Faith.
Each of us wants to not only find ourselves, but be found. Each of us wants some sort of assurance for the future, and encouragement for who we want to become. Most times though we are in need of direction for our futures and our lives...Art is good projector of the heart, and soul.
Because as much as some folks try to hide themselves behind their art, or find their identity there; art reflects what the artist believes and what is inside his or hers heart.
I'd also like to make clear, that in my opinion art can take both men and women to different stations. It is my own belief that both men and women have a different role to play in terms of career and presentation in the area of art, but not excluded to only it. Yet, I do believe that the 'ultimate' purpose for the Creative and even Non-artistic human being, ( both woman and men),  is united with the same Eternal value and Destiny.
So I'm gonna try to find a perfect balance in the following chapters between views on creativity goals, and desires, for both guys and gals.

Introducing: Topics for Writing: Art of the Heart

So I thought I'd take a look at what I've got for chapters and topics in my book.
I don't think that the topics will stay in this exact order, but at least you can
all see what I've got in mind :)

Chapters: Sections:

(Intro) Acceptance
Being Known
Love
A Purpose in Christ


Identity (Art vs. God)
Inspiration (Motivation to create)
Eductation
Worldview
History of Art
Counterfiet Reality (examples)
Conformation (to world's stamp on art)

Fullfillment (The desire of the artist)
Surrender (to Christ)
Focus
What you have to share
Dedication (to a King and Cause)
What you Worship
Fear
Living Creating,
* Today
* Tomorrow
Destiny
(the hope of eternity)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Needtobreathe - The Reckoning



LYRICS:

Going to California suitcase in my hand, never run away a boy when you
can walk away a man,
Friday comes to find you in your hopes and in your dreams,
like a thief that tells his lover he has one last thing.
 - Cause I can see the shadows at the foot of my door, I can see the faces
that don't doubt us anymore, and I can see it coming I pray I don't go blind,
in the middle of our reckoning time.

Easy is a refuge, it's an easy place to be, but when the sun shines on you,
what will the whole earth think?
 - Cause I can see the shadows at the foot of my door, I can see the faces
that don't doubt us anymore, and I can see it coming I pray I don't go blind,
in the middle of our reckoning time.  In the middle of our reckoning time...

Each of us is broken, spirit of the chosen, we stand alone, journey through the
purpose, waiting with the worthless, no scars shown...
In the middle, of our Reckoning time.

Going to California, suitcase in my hand,
 Never run away a boy, when you can walk away a Man.

Lack of Inspiration (=) The Death of the Artist

The lack of inspiration leads to the death of Artistic Expression...Or does it?
Sitting here thinking about how I was at loss for words, brang along this
poem...with a totally different outcome than expected.

                                                The Death of the Artist
I was looking through some pages, of paintings of the past,
I fingered through the images until my eyes recognized a path
worn by time and different point of view, I stopped and pondered on
what looked to be a clue.
I was reading through some pages, of writings of the past,
I fingered through the lyrics until my voice recognized a path
sung by time and different point of view, I stopped and pondered what
had happen to me... and what was it that could I do?

Time takes a certain toll, and changes us a bit. It takes all of our courage,
 all of our hope and strength. Time takes a toll on us, that words fail
to describe, it wares at our strings, and stacks up with our tries.
You never know how it will effect you, you never know where it
will take you. It's a mystery, and only it will tell.

I was looking through the crowd today of faces from the past,
I squinted through the images and tried to recognize a path,
lived by time and a different point of view, I stopped and pondered
why I couldn't find a clue.
I was reading through the pages of my writings of the past, all my
questions clearly showed, and answers proved a path,
sung with passion and in a different time and place, I stopped
and wondered where I could fall back into that grace.

Time takes a certain toll, and changes us a bit. It takes all of our courage,
all of our hope and strength. Time takes a toll on us, that words fail
to describe, it wares at our legs, and makes us crack up and dry.
You never know how it will effect you, you never know where it
will take you. It's a mystery, and only it will tell.

I took my imagination and thoughts to the cross. I knew it was time
to regain what was lost. Perhaps it was just time, perhaps just to
perceive... the beauty of His inspiration coming back to me.

I crossed my fingers and sighed so deep, that I could feel my imagination
falling asleep. The lack of inspiration weighs so hard, I could cry,
without it an Artist feels she will die!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Thursday, September 29, 2011

New Blog Posts and Books to Write: Please Comment!

I just wanted to make a post to remind myself of what I need to write and blog hehe, and I wanted to get some outside encouragment, advice etc...
I want to write two books one called 'Art of the Heart' and the other called 'The Courage to Change'.
I came up with the ideas last year for both of them, and I do enjoy writing, but I just need a bit of a shove in the right direction. Feel free to leave your oppinions and encouragment bellow :)

Art of the Heart: is about being a messenger of your worldview through art and creativity. It's about realizing where your heart is before God, and being able to recognize where it is heading and how art influences you and the others around you. It's also about growing in a realationship with Your Creator, and imitating Him and shinning His light through your art. Also I want to infuse it with some factual stuff on the history of spirituality in art...

The Courage to Change: is about exactly that, "finding the courage to change". It's based on encouraging the next step towards change whether that means overcoming addiction, overcoming doubt, guilt, temptation, or insicurity...though finding the will power, surrendering to the One who can give you power to overcome, and discovering how to embrace the life we have through Christ.

So what do you think? Would you be interested in reading either of these books?
I'm thinking about making a blog for each one of these topics/books...and first blogging a section or blogging them chapter for chapter. Or I could just get to writing, and make blogs for each book once I've finished them. Right now I'm also working on finishing/re-editing a novel I wrote a few years ago,
so I might be multitasking in writing. But writing is always a good thing to do in the winter, when there is plenty of time to be spent indoors.
Ok. so leave me a comment if you'd like! And let me know what you think.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I Belong to Jesus - by: Purpose Proposed

I belong to Jesus.
To Jesus I belong.

To Him I will run and dance,
For Him I live, work, and be
By Him I breathe, laugh, prance
to Jesus I owe everything.

I belong to Jesus.
To Jesus I belong.

I'll conform into His image,
Into His and His alone.
By His grace He will carry me,
By His love and mercy shone.

I belong to Jesus.
To Jesus I belong.

Oh, for By grace I can be justified,
for by it I can stand; so I desire to
 become more like Jesus.
For He is the greatest of Men.

I belong to Jesus.
To Jesus I belong.

God I can't live without you,
I cant find hope or new song.
So come consume me Father
for you know the journey is long.

I will Trust Your way
So lead and balance me,
In every thing I do,
In everything I say.
 O come, O come, O God,
 - In "Jesus" Name I pray.

P.P.

The Good Fight - Owl City Blog Post

The Good Fight 

On June 20th, 2011 by Adam Young                                                                                 - Re shared from: The Owl City Blog
Right now I’m tucked snugly into my bunk on the tour bus as a sleepy chorus of tires on blacktop sweetly serenades me through the night. My eyelids are growing heavy. Our fearless driver is at the helm, a great courageous captain of the moonlit open road. It’s 2:34 AM and we’re skirting the east coast, stealing through the night, trekking from Baltimore to Montreal. A rich scent of evergreen hangs heavy in the air as our landlocked cruise ship pitches and reels over wave after wave of rolling coniferous hilltops.
A dear fan gave me a beautiful letter after my show a few nights ago and she wrote a verse on the inside cover.
Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:17)
I’m sure I must’ve read this verse fifty times before, but tonight it struck me in a new way. I spend so much time DOING… in whatever capacity the definition of the word DO includes. I, as a mortal human being, would go nuts if I wasn’t always DOING whatever it is I DO… and of course not all of it is BAD per se, because all of it just IS and sometimes I don’t pay any attention to it. I wake up, I do stuff, I fall sleep, I repeat. The conviction here is the fact that I so often forget to do whatever it is I do… in the name of the Lord Jesus, not because I’m willfully trying to be a greedy little monster (despite the classic nature of the flesh) but because sometimes it just doesn’t cross my mind. I stood onstage the other night during the encore and felt the Lord suddenly say, “You don’t have to be afraid to trust me. I’ve got you.” Everything in me wanted to cry out and say, “Yes, but I’m such a helpless sinner! What good can I do?!” Later that night I found myself reading 2 Peter chapter 3, and there was my answer… the fact that my wonderful Savior is ALIVE, and He is going to return for His own. Despite my many flaws, despite my endless list of weaknesses, Christ is so much BIGGER than all of that… my prayer is only that He grant me the strength required to finish this race, to fight the good fight, to remain steadfast, to further the Kingdom, and to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ… for it is painfully obvious that without Him, I am absolutely nothing. I deeply desire more than anything to make Him proud, that by my life or death, His name may be glorified.
Sometimes the good fight feels impossible, but I for one, am NOT giving up.
Jesus Will Come Again
My friends, this is the second letter I have written you to help your honest minds remember. I want you to think about the words the holy prophets spoke in the past, and remember the command our Lord and Savior gave us through your apostles. It is most important for you to understand what will happen in the last days. People will laugh at you. They will live doing the evil things they want to do. They will say, “Jesus promised to come again. Where is he? Our fathers have died, but the world continues the way it has been since it was made.” But they do not want to remember what happened long ago. By the word of God heaven was made, and the earth was made from water and with water. Then the world was flooded and destroyed with water. And that same word of God is keeping heaven and earth that we now have in order to be destroyed by fire. They are being kept for the Judgment Day and the destruction of all who are against God.
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: To the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day. The Lord is not slow in doing what he promised—the way some people understand slowness. But God is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives.
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The skies will disappear with a loud noise. Everything in them will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be exposed. In that way everything will be destroyed. So what kind of people should you be? You should live holy lives and serve God, as you wait for and look forward to the coming of the day of God. When that day comes, the skies will be destroyed with fire, and everything in them will melt with heat. But God made a promise to us, and we are waiting for a new heaven and a new earth where goodness lives.
Dear friends, since you are waiting for this to happen, do your best to be without sin and without fault. Try to be at peace with God. Remember that we are saved because our Lord is patient. Our dear brother Paul told you the same thing when he wrote to you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes about this in all his letters. Some things in Paul’s letters are hard to understand, and people who are ignorant and weak in faith explain these things falsely. They also falsely explain the other Scriptures, but they are destroying themselves by doing this.
Dear friends, since you already know about this, be careful. Do not let those evil people lead you away by the wrong they do. Be careful so you will not fall from your strong faith. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Glory be to him now and forever! Amen.
2 Peter 3

What's your Drug?

If you don't go to Christ with your trials, questions, hopes, dreams, relationships...
you will go with them to something else, whether that be another person, another
filler, another outlet. But really there are only two all consuming sources for you
to choose from. 1. Christ. 2. The World.
Which one will you choose to go to? I see a lot of technology as just escapism,
escapism from reality, and a distraction from God. You see Technology has
become an outlet/addiction that many people go to just like they go to shopping,
alcahol, etc. The worst thing about addictions is not always the 'thing in it's self'
but the reason why you are doing it, and if/how that seperates you from God himself.
Everyone has an outlet though, everyone has a way they outlet their emotions,
express themselves, and most of the time that is in a form of art. That isn't bad.
And art is not bad...but, it can be if it seperates you from 'going to God', and
 instead makesyou 'go to it' than it has become bad, and should be considered just
 as any other addiction.You see, unless we find balance and have prospective than
 we will never live free as we were meant to be.
I see this in art, in relationships, actually or anything that we continue to go to and
outlet or snuff our feelings. There is this girl at one of the youth groups I go to
she's not the only one, but she is addicted to smoking. But I don't think it's just
because it's the fact that cigaretes are addictive, but that she is doing to because
 of the emotions she is pushing down insdie of her. She can't sit for long in youth
 group,she starts to sink down on the couch while the leader is speaking, and
 before long she starts to shift, shake, and before long whimper for her addiction.
 She is seriouslyaddicted. Because she has made it a habit of going to smoke
 insteadof going to God... Technology can be the same thing..that instead of going
to God with everything, you go to technology, facebook, chat, even blogging...

But you see, Facebook won't solve your lonliness, and blogging can only release
 typedideas, it can't settle the feelings you have inside, it can''t bring you peace of
 mind, or even closer relationship with Christ.
So what is your drug? is it friends? is it art? Do you go to these things just to
 outletemotions, or in order to make the pain less painful?  It won't heal it!
 It won't 'solve' it!Only God can! Go to Him! He's waiting. And when you go to
 him,with your dreams,with your hopes, with your relationships, with your future,
withyour emotions,with everything...Then and only then, will you begin to live the
 life you want to live. Here'sthe flip side.The cool thing though is you don't have
 to go to go just with a verbal prayer, you can go to God with your artistic talents
/giftts. For example yesterday I went to a youth group and for worship- we were
 each given a piece of large paper to either paint,
 draw, or write on. Just like in singing, or playing an instrument you can call out to
 God and express your feelings before Him with art...but don't just go to the
 'art' itself to fill or heal you, go before the Ultimate Artist, God. So Go to him with
 your talents, your art, your gifts...
God can supply all good things in your life, but only if He is first in your life.
He loves you, he made you, and he wants the best for You. Trust it! and go!

Jesus is my Drug.
I surrender To Jesus.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Downhere's "Let me Rediscover You"

                                           
I seen this band perform this live. An inspiring song :-)

Becoming like what we Love: My Dreams

It's interesting, how we become more like that which we love. It is true, that where you invest your love, is where you invest your life. That's exactly why you have to be aware where you invest your love, and if where you are investing your love is exactly where you 'should' be 'investing' it.
I want to invest my life in loving God, He must be first. Second, I would like to love others as he would have me, and thirdly I would like to be creative & do creative things to glory Him, honor Him, encourage/inspire others, and also just for healthy recreation.
But I pray that in everything I do in my life, that firstly it is a love for God and God's love for me, that stirs me to do what I do, and 'motivates' me. Anything else would be positively a waste of my life.
I would like to live life always in the presence and constant realization of the presence of God; that everywhere I go, whether I'm on city streets, or country roads, that wherever I may be, and whomever I am with, that God would be there.
That wherever I am, and whoever is there; I may still do whatever I do in the 'presence' of God, and for the 'glory' of God. I don't want to live life without Him.
I want to be able to walk constantly in the creativity and inspiration of God. I desire this more than anything else for my future path. It would be totally amazing to live spontaneously like an artist, and yet always do what I do for a reason beyond myself, an audience, or a career. I've felt like I would never be able to do this though, without some other special person that God has planned for me. Because I can be a quieter/thoughtful person "until" I come into contact with another person, and than I can be inspired beyond words. That's one reason I always figured I needed 'someone else', or other 'Christ inspired'/ creative people, and I'm still convinced that that would be amazing...but God is also showing me something else, that I can do things I hadn't thought I could...yet still, I usually only do them when I am inspired by another perosn...when I realized this, I got a little scared, because I always wanted and thought God was my inspiration/motivation. Maybe after all, I do have some 'blood of an artist' in me, something I hadn't thought I had before. God knows I want to love Him 'first' and always be inspired by 'Him' first of all, but in order to reach others in my life, perhaps God is showing me something else; and that is: the reality of 'being human'. That might seem crazy I know. Everyone should know what it means to be human...well, maybe.. I just never really considered myself as closely related to humanity, in the past... and how in the world would I have been able to reach others in my life for Christ? if I couldn't 'personally' relate to humanity? I guess God has just been balancing me out. I just hope and pray that I will always keep God first, and that I will never be inspired in the same way I am inspired by Him, by someone or something else.
God please watch over me, lead me constantly, guard me consistently, and prepare my paths according to Your will. Teach me what I must learn. God I know that we all become like that which we love, God please steal away my heart...sneak into my Heart more and more Matter of fact, invade, I don't mind, really, "invade".
Let me discover you more and more each day.




Saturday, July 2, 2011

MY CAMERA!

I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!
It's finally here. YES!
The Panasonic gh2 is now officially mine. I feel like I should have a ceremony of some kind.
But so far I am so thrilled that I'm afraid to take it all out of the box and turn it on, just in case
something is not perfect with it lol. So right now it is sitting on my desk, and I am thinking about it,
and am now going to go over to it and stroke it for an hour lol, no not really haha.
Any how I'll keep ya posted!

Bon Voyage to the world of paper cameras! for my Panasonic Baby has 'finally' arrived!

Happiness

This is a totally random video. Which I edited in a few minutes.. which means it's pretty much not edited hehe It's just for fun, & for one of my friends; we were taking a walk and slightly goofing off :) We both were acting  like little kids and we even look like little kids in this video lol.
Oh, and I forgot to put it on the video lol...but for the sake of credit due, the song playing herein is by Owl City.

Mirroring the Heart: Identity

Don't you dislike dirty mirrors? 
...have you ever looked into a mirror and all you could see was dust, fog or dirt? 
Sometimes I feel like we each have a mirror inside our heads. And there are times when all we can is see is everything through a dim mirror. Personally I don't like that feeling. I would rather see myself, a situation, or someone else just as they are, rather than have to deal with the fog of uncertain thoughts, or lack of view. It's easy to then go up to your "mirror' and start rubbing at your reflection, and wonder if that dirt, dust, and fog on the mirror is really what  you, the situation, or other person, looks like after all? It's confusing, yet 'there are' times in your life when the mirror is 'clearer', and there are times when it's almost perfectly 'clear'. But those times of doubt, uncertainty, worry, they sure are daunting. The fact is I don't claim not to be-human. But maybe that has been one of my worst enemies, the fear of: 'being human', after all. Waking up one day and realizing that I have let emotion have it's way. After all, I can't hardly wait for the day that I can just let my feelings soar, but in this fallen world, honestly, it's not always a safe reality...We have to watch every step we take, we have to depend on wisdom and, more times than not, we have to tell ourselves that our 'emotions' shouldn't lead us. Pity, because life would be so much easier that way, right?
Back to that mirror I was mentioning...a lot of times I would compare a mirror to Vanity...and maybe after all that is what it all comes down to, a fear or distraction of vanity. But for me personally, I've never feared much expect for vanity, and rebellion. And the sad thing is; most of the world that we know, is based on those two things, Vanity and Rebellion. 

I've heard that our true desires are based out of our heart...and that depends on whether or not we have a heart that is Redeemed by the blood of Christ or not, but if it is, then our true, deep, desires, are what we should follow. And they are placed there by the Creator Himself. 
Which to me, makes sense. But just because your heart has been saved, and believes in the blood and resurrection of Christ, does not mean that all the desires of your heart are holy and right. We all have individual things that we must surrender to Christ. And Christ can only change as much as we have surrendered to Him. If we just surrender our worst sins, than that is all we have given him...but if we surrender our affections, our time, our hobbies, our relationships, to Him...He can work in all those areas then. But only after we willingly surrender those areas to Him. A lot of Christians have only surrendered their selves on the level ,of salvation from the 'consequences' of sin, and hell. And then there are those who have surrendered certain 'lusts' to Him, and then there are those who have surrendered there 'selfishness' to Him...These things are all good, but remember God can only work with as much as you are willing to surrender to Him.
That is why a lot of Christian Rappers/Musicians have been speaking about such things as 'going hard', 'surrendering affections', and 'desiring God's plan for your life'...because these are relevant issues. A lot of Christians aren't finding their 'Identity in Christ'...Or else they are just 'finding their Identity in salvation', or 'finding their Identity in Him only around other Christians', or only on weekends...No, God must be continue to invade your life, in every area...That doesn't mean that you will be willing to surrender all, at once...and that doesn't mean that you even are able to surrender everything all at once...Living for the Lord is a Journey, and a continual 'process of sanctification', in all the areas of your life...

Back to that mirror you're looking through. Are certain things clouding your view? Surrender them to God. But you must be willing to surrender them... Are you mirroring your heart at this time of your life?










Sunday, June 26, 2011

Damien Rice - Cold Water (w/ Lisa)



The only time I heard this song was on a movie called 'I am David'.
The last time I watched it was awhile back, but funny how last night
in my dream this song was playing, and I woke up with the tune
to it in my head, haha! Anyhow, it's a good song, I like it.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


Thy hands have made me and fashioned me. ~ Psalm 119:73a






    Photograph of Ben by D. Golightly


Psalm 139:1-18

O Lord, You have searched me and known me. 
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thoughts from afar. 
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. 
Even before there is a word on my tongue, 
Behold, O Lord, You know it all. 
You have enclosed me behind and before
And laid Your hand upon me. 
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it. 
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn, 
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 
Even there Your hand will lead me, 
And Your right hand will lay hold of me. 
If I say surely the darkness will cover me; 
even the night shall be light about me.
For the darkness hides me not from You;
 but the night shines as the day:
the darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For you have possessed my reins;You
covered me in my mother's whom. I will praise You
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
marvelous are they works; and them my soul knows
 are true. My substance was not hid from You, 
when I was made in secret, and curiously made 
in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes seen
my substance; yet being imperfect;
and in  Your book all my members were 
written, which incontinuance were fashioned, 
when yet there were none of them. 
How precious also are Your thoughts
unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them they are more than the sand:
when I awake, I am still with You.


Psalm 139: 1-18

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

TopicsOfVariety: A Work of Art

TopicsOfVariety: A Work of Art: " Leonardo da Vinci (renaissance man) was not only revered as the very model of a 'universal genius' but was also one of the most famous ..."

Monday, April 25, 2011

He's Risen Dance


Performance in honor of Christ's Resurrection!
Dance Choreography by: Becca Timan

Thursday, April 14, 2011

What Owns Your Heart?

Who owns my heart? Is it love, or is it art? You now I wanna believe, that we're a masterpiece. But sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark, who owns my heart. M.Cyrus

Intersting quote. When I read it I didn't know that it was orginaly from a song by Miley Cyrus. I'm deffinetly not a big fan. But what matters is what this quote says, not necessarly the person who wrote it, or sang it, for that matter. But just the fact that it was sung by someone who has tasted of the world's offer...just assists the message to come across loud and clear.

Who owns your heart? or for that matter..."what" owns your heart?
Is it Love that consumes you, or is it your own desires, art, abilities,
or the world around you? Do you walk around in the dark wondering what your purpose is?
Don't try to find yourself any place else, other than in the presence of your Maker. You can never find yourself, or become all that you were meant to be, if you don't go before, and grown in the light, of the one who made you.

Is it hard to tell who or what "really" 'owns' your heart?
What takes up the majority of your time, dedication, appreciation,
thoughts? What and Who do you serve?

In these bodies we will live,
In these bodies we will die,
and where you invest your love
you invest your life. ~ Mumford & Sons

Welcome: About the Blog

Hello Readers.
This blog is about two combined topics
#1. Art and Creative outlet
#2. Living a Christ Centered Life

Whether it's Music, Film making, Photography, Painting, Design,
Dance, Writing, Poetry, etc...These are all forms of Creative outlet or art, so this blog may from time to time cover any of the above areas :) From photos to videos, from song lyrics to inspiring pictures, from poems to blog posts on art itself.

One of the most important things, is a Person's 'Theology', especially for those who are creative or artistic. And for those who are not talented in the creative area, or who do not practice any form of artistic outlet...you are most likely drawn to, or influenced by the art and creativity around you. Think of the films you watch, the music you listen to, the books you read. What is the inspiration of the artist himself? What does it mean to live motivated by what you believe?

For We look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen [are] temporary; but the things which are not seen [are] eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:18