Going for My Goals

I've got a few creative/artistic outlets, gifts, talents that I would like to use....It just seems sometimes that the process is way too long in getting them out into the air. That really frustrates me. I like music a lot, I enjoy writing song lyrics especially, and putting  together new songs and singing them...but sometimes I feel like it is one of my toughest areas of creativity, because it is the one that stretches me the furthest. It's not only confusing to me in many ways, but sometimes the way seems very dim and hopeless. Out of all of my talents, artistic expressions, gifts...this one's downs are the worst. And lately, it's easy to feel that I will never succeed in doing anything worth while with it, even though I've been told in the past that it is a gift I've been given. But, there's just sooo many strings attached to this package. Sometimes I worry that I will pull the wrong one, and the package will all fall apart, until nothing remains. So, yes I've been praying about it. I'm anxious, and I must admit, a bit pessimistic about it. No, it's not intentional, although pessimism is actually derived from a certain amount of doubt. Lately, I feel voiceless. Not only voiceless, but slightly afraid. Afraid that things will get too drawn out, I will fumble, and my goal will never be accomplished. I know, it's wrong to think that way. And like I said, this is the way I think when I am 'not' intending, it's kind of like 'subconsious'. I'm finding that not only have I become afraid of projecting (which I never was before) but I've nurtured again, the fear of 'failing'. I need to not be pessimistic about this. I just need to get my head up out of the fog, say a prayer in faith and do the dirty work. Pick up the weight of the package, and take it climb up hill. You see what makes my dreams weak, and what ever makes me weak, is when I have lost sight of the prize. The gift/ talent/ is nothing in it's self, if you don't have a purpose for it. Has my purpose dimmed? God, please...
I know, I'm nothing without You. Nothing without Love. I wish I wouldn't put up the walls, I wish my things weren't so complicated. Please Lord, give me the courage to face it all. I am weak, but You are strong. The Enemy, let him fall to the back. Doubt, let it pack up and leave. I walk ahead, I move forward, I re focus my eyes on the purpose. I surrender my fears, insecurities, failures to You, and in return You will give me Your peace. Thank You for Your patience. Let's do this!