This past week I've spent at the 'Gideon' film conference and festival...It's a great week of film classes, fellowship, networking, and Christian films!
This year I entered into the Original Screenplay Contest at Gideon. Over this past year I've finished my first feature film length screenplay...it was something that I'd been hoping to do since the original story concept popped into my head. Entering into the contest might not sound very daunting, but it was...the hardest part was the night right before the day I was going to send it in. Errors kept occurring, my printer was acting up, and I took one look at my screenplay and thought (as well as verbalized) that it was just not happening...
Well, things worked out and I did actually get it sent in before the deadline, relief...
To my great surprise I received an email a month or so later saying my screenplay was one of the finalists! Unbelievable. Third place was fine with me, I mean after all...it was my first full length screenplay.
The final judging/announcement would take place on one of the last days of 'Gideon', at the banquet. In the days leading up to the banquet at Gideon, I didn't think too much about the my placing in the contest. Being a finalist, in all honesty, was big enough in it's self! But then, there was that one moment...when I was sitting in the audience at one of the services at Gideon, and I heard the Speaker talking about "Great things happen at Gideon...and God makes great things happen for those who seek Him first...and I thought, is it really possible that God would let me win the screenplay competition? I didn't dwell on it much, after all, God had a lot to make happen for each of the individuals there. Did he really have enough time and room to consider me?
The night of the banquet me, my mom and my brother, as well as quite a few other Gideonites, (including another one of the Screenplay finalists) got stuck together in the elevator. As the seconds turned into minutes, the panic rushed inside...well, how dramatic...an elevator death... Was I never actually going to get to the banquet to go up for my award?
And then the door opened, and I made my way to the banquet hall, then into the room...a bit late, but I'd made it none the less.
The first contest announcements were for the Music contest...and then they would announce the Original Screenplay Winners. I began to shake, suddenly I had no appetite for the fine meal in front of me...even if it was spaghetti...I hadn't expected to get so excited and nervous...but it was happening. The music finalists took their awards, and the 3rd place screenplay winner was announced. I was surprised, it wasn't me. The man who announced the contest winners, asked for the other screenplay finalists to come stand by the stage, to be ready to come up when called. I walked in front of the small stage, and stood by one of the spot light stands. Second place was announced, it went to a man who wasn't able to attend. Suddenly, where there probably should have been emotional explosion, a peace came over me. I'd won. The announcer spoke into his mic, "And the winner for the Original Screenplay Contest is...Anjelica Childs..." You couldn't hear the rest of his sentence, because of the reaction of the audience..."for her screenplay 'Alone in the Midst' "...I heard many people not only clapping for me as I went to get my award, but cheering as well!
I knew what I wanted to say on stage, but strangely I wasn't given the opportunity to give a speech. I was going to thank 'Gideon' for the opportunity, my Mom for encouraging me to 'go for it' and not give up...and then, most importantly, I wanted to thank God...for the inspiration, and for His blessings. After all, it was He who'd made it a reality...not long after the banquet, I discovered that my friends were praying for me to the win the contest, which I didn't previous know...I knew God had given me a gift, He'd known the desire of my heart, and He'd answered my question; "Yes, I do care for each individual personally...I care about each individual's desires...And I will give you the desires of your heart, and bless you... if you put Me first."
God is soo good. It's not the actual 'winning' or receiving 'awards' that made me consider that, but the fact that God 'cared enough' to consider my little desires...when it light of bigger things, winning a contest is so very small. But God, loves us, and he cares about the desires of our hearts.
So...don't give up! In everything you do, do it to the best of your ability...and then, let God take care of the rest. I think the answer to winning, and the answer to truly succeeding in this life, is not to 'want to be successful' above all else...God tests our hearts, and sees the desires of our hearts...But if we let our desires, career, or anything for that matter become more important to us than Christ himself...than I doubt he shall answer our prayers for what we want, or readily give us the desires of our hearts. That is why the Bible says that if we "Put first he kingdom of God, 'then' all these things shall be added unto you"; in other words God says "I will give you the desires of your heart, if in fact, I am the first desire....or your desires are not soooo important to you. If I can see that you can be satisfied with little, I will give you much."
Wow...this is so powerful, and so convicting...I know I definitely haven't "arrived". The fact is I'm so undeserving of the good God gives...I'm unworthy of any of the good he gives me. I know I trusted Him in this one area, but sometimes, and I think most any artist can relate...I feel like my projects get more time than my actual 'time alone with God'. And then I know there is a balance to that, because sometimes as artists...our 'alone time with God' is actually the time when we are 'creating'...and that is when we hear from him, and share him the most...through our art.
Anyhow, keep working hard at your goals reader, and trust in the Lord with all your heart...in all your ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct your paths...God is good. Bless him, and give him the glory for all your successes, and remember...He is 'your' creator, and you are his project. May we be molded like clay into the image and character of our God who loved us enough to never give up, 'on us'.
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