Being A Good Steward - Season of Change?

O.k, so maybe I should be doing something non-computer related at this moment. But the desire to blog, is winning over. :-) It's been awhile since you've heard from me...

A topic that has been on my mind lately is that of 'being a good steward'. I suppose I hadn't heard that term in awhile, because when I read it in one of my pen pal's emails not long ago, it stirred me to question what 'being a good steward' really meant to me personally. 
I guess I hadn't really considered it before.

At first I thought of what gifting or areas of my life that I have neglected...Some areas came to mind. Although, as I continued to ponder...I realized that things have changed over the last few years. There are some hobbies that I once engaged more in, that I don't anymore. There are some friendships that have fallen into the neglected category, (not by my choice or doing).

It's interesting though...how in some cases "neglect" isn't always bad.
But change occurs, and life does not remain stagnant. Then this song came to mind: http://youtu.be/X91IWV_rEmI
Yeah, and then there are those neglected areas, neglected relationships, that you wish you could change. But, not everything neglected can be so easily 'picked back up'. Because you can do your part, but every man has his. You can't make someone else be a 'good steward'.

And then I thought about how we can be poor stewards, by 'overuse'. Whatever causes 'waste', whatever causes 'decay', 'ruin'...these are fruits of 'bad stewardship'.
Being a drunk, being an addict...is being a 'bad steward'; a bad steward of health, money, time, etc.

And then I considered how I have 'overused' more than 'neglected'. Yeah, perhaps I have neglected spending time reading the word, and I could be spending more time basking in God's presence...but overall, it's the "bad stewardship" of 'overuse' that hit home for me.

You see...I love to write. Writing has always been a way pouring my feelings out, talking to God, communicating with those closest to me, making friends, creating stories, etc etc. To some it's 'painting', to some it's 'visual arts', to others it's just 'speaking', everyone has their own 'language of the heart'...Written words, have been the language of my heart, whether they're sung with music, scribbled into a journal, or penned in a letter.

And that's all fine and dandy, but it has come to a point where I have 'over-written'...and my body has been starting to feel the effects. Stiff wrists, popping joints, and lack of penmanship control.

And then there's online communication. I spend a lot of time on facebook, when I'm bored, wanting to chill, or am just looking for some friendly communication.  But, when your eyes start to dry up, and your back starts to hurt from hunching over the computer, and your wrists hurt from clicking/typing on the keyboard...it's all signs, of "overuse".

Same with watching too much TV, and playing too much piano. Any object or activity when overused or overdone can become unhealthy for the mind, body, or emotions.

So I feel some changes are in order. They are occurring as I type. Other things, hobbies, relationships (things I've invested into for so long) are suddenly changing in their importance and preeminence. I feel my body asking for a 'break'. What does this mean? It means I may not be writing as many letters, it means I may not be visiting facebook as often, it means I may have to give some things a rest, and pick up new hobbies and start new activities. It's a good thing. And I'm not just 'deciding' to make changes, these changes are occurring in me. I feel my mind, body, and emotions asking for a "break"...'breaks' from some things I never thought I could grow tired of/from.

All I know is that I may be wandering around aimlessly for a bit, and it may take awhile to figure on what to focus my energy on, and what to spend my time on, in the place of that which I'm 'breaking' from. But, it will become easier. And I have God to question and lead me in the right paths.

So what does 'being a good steward' mean to you? Have you been a 'good steward'? If not, how can you make up fro the energy, time, health, lost? Do you feel called to 'take a break' from something? or maybe  'pick up' what you've 'put down'?

 Oh, and if you're curious here are some scriptures about 'being a good steward':) http://www.openbible.info/topics/being_a_good_steward

Over and out.
AJ

Creation Delcares The Glory Of God: Thoughts On The Topic

O Lord, the earth declares your great craftsmanship, nature reveals Your wisdom.
 The Seasons give glory to their Creator, and in their splendor point to 'your own'.

The Summer sun radiates on a field of green grass, and cows graze on the food you have supplied. As I watch them I am reminded of how you supply for me also, every morning, noon, and night... with food that is satisfying to the taste. While I eat the fruit of the earth I am overcome with gratitude, as I take the example of food, and consider that you want us 'to enjoy' and 'to be satisfied' with that which is 'good'. You could have created food 'bland', only to fuel us, but never to be eaten with joy...But, instead you gave us buds of 'taste' and put flavors in every plant. How good you are! I am reminded that you want us to 'take and eat' of 'You', and 'to be satisfied'! (Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Psalm 34:8)
I nap in the summer sun, it's rays fall upon my face, and warm it. The radiance of the sun points to Your radiance, and how you desire to rest your presence upon us, and warm us with your love. (Psalm 19: 4-6)

The Autumn air is crisp and the sky clear...I go for a walk with a friend and breath deeply to clear my mind. The trees are painted in golden hues, and orange undertones...What a splendid artist You are! Your Holy Spirit is like the air that fills my lungs, and clears my thoughts. You clean us and make us pure with the washing of your regeneration.

 I watch as the snowflakes fall upon my window pane, and I am in awe at the detail you put into your creation. Each individual snow flake, so unique, and yet so perfect...I am reminded of my own individuality, and all of mankind's; each person fashioned, each one known and cared for personally by their Creator. As the snow continues to fall, and thousands of snowflakes begin to stick to each other, I think of the cells in my body and how much attention to detail you paid when you created the inside of an human eye. I cannot say enough God how much your art amazes me. You design and paint not only a 'picture' on canvas, but a 'living, breathing, creation'. You are definitely a success God, a Master of Creativity and Functionality.

 As I notice buds on the trees, and the grass regrowing from the ground, I am reminded of how You make 'all things new'. Birds sing from the tree limbs, and a little rabbit leaves his underground home. Life awakens once again! Around this time you died and rose from the dead, just as the earth rises from the grave of death., You rose...You renew my soul, and bring me to life.

I do not believe in this all being 'chance', how can I when I understand...that all beauty is fashioned by Your marvelous hand! ( The heavens declare the glory of God. The skies proclaim His craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world. Psalm 19:1-4)

Holding Tight To Your Dreams: Artists Building Up Artists

People are not usually easy on other people's dreams...But, more times than not, it is other Artists who serve to discourage their fellow artistic peers.
The one thing that I hate the most in art of any kind, is the mindset of the majority in the art world, who get caught up in 'skill : 'above 'creativity', above 'message', and above 'other people's feelings'.
Yes, there is such thing as poor art, and excellent art. But, what is other Artists who seem to want to wreck other creative people's dreams? Perhaps  it is really not that they plan to speak words of discouragement, but deep down inside you know, they only care about what 'they're' doing, and where 'they're' going...and where's the encouragement in that? It makes you feel like what you have to offer is unimportant, and that your dreams are paper thin.

Sometimes I wonder where 'God is' in the business world, and in the art world. It's almost as if there is hardly any room for him in these places, because people are overly 'competitive' and 'self centered'. We rarely see this fact more clearly than on 'Black Friday' here in the US ;-)...

I believe that networking, especially Christian networking, should be about 'assisting our fellow artists for Christ'. Until people realize that in this life, whether in our work or in our play, there is always the need to be serving someone else. But, if we are too consumed with our own 'talents' and 'abilities' we will not want to serve others, we will only want to 'be served'. Which is ridiculously selfish...

In art, especially in the mediums that are collaborative, such as film-making, dance, theater, music...you will not get far if you think, or want to be 'super man'. No matter what you tell yourself,  you cannot do everything 'yourself'. And the hardest thing about 'collaborative' art mediums, is truly respecting and flourishing in that environment. I'd say mainly because, no one is perfect. And unless people give up a certain extent on 'pleasing themselves' and start 'truly serving', the projects collaborated on are jinxed.

What is a music artist, without a recording team? A singer without back up music? What is Filmmaker without out a videographer, a writer, a gopher, an actor? We are nothing without each other. Artists aren't much without other artists. We make eachother's dreams possible.

So how does this relate to you personally?
I think the Artist/ the Creative person, has to be willing to 'let go of his dreams a little bit', just enough to see that if he does not, he cannot be helped, and his dreams will not become a reality. And if we are too consumed with our own progress, we will not consider the man who sits beside us who needs assistance.

Perhaps, the true point of this blog post is just to remind the 'Art arena' that 'humility' is better than blind ambition. I believe that the best artists are those who put other people before themselves, whether that be the audience, or fellow artists. The truth is Artists...we need a wake up call. The walls need to be dropped, the complex needs to be dropped that says 'I am the best at what I do', 'If I don't like what you do, it must not be good'. So critical, so judgmental, so un-supportive is the majority of the art world, because most Artists believe that they can stick up their noses and bash every other person's artwork that doesn't align to their personal tastes!

But, honestly I think the root of this in some cases is 'insecurity'. This is more the case with fellow artistic 'peers', than with teachers and professionals...they dash your hopes, by withholding encouragement and acceptance, because deep inside they want to believe that 'they are better at what they do'...they don't give encouragement  because they don't have it in  'themselves'. The do not accept, because they themselves are looking for 'acceptance', 'backing', 'financing' lol.  So the thing is, most of the young artists are in competition with each other  fearing they will be left behind.

Also, a lot of young folk are pursing the wrong career, or even area of creativity. Just because other people have frightened their dreams, and peer-pressure even 'non verbal' has made them assume they must be like 'everybody else'. It's a lie. Don't try to be like 'everybody else'. Because, there are already too many Artists in the same boxes, that never found their own 'style'.

As Christians we must never cut off any part of our lives from living the Christ-centered life. Some people think that they can call themselves 'Christians' and yet they are only so in church, and not on the film set, nor in their hobbies. Just like some people are thankful on 'Thanksgiving', selfish on 'Black Friday', and then "generous" on 'Christmas'.
How should you act in your career  or in your artistic pursuits? Just as Jesus would. Surprised? Yes, you still should act like a follower of the Messiah when you're at work, or even at play.
Art on a large scale as described in the Bible, is the result of God individually calling different people to use their unique talents and gifts, to join to together and work for a common purpose or goal.

Just as with Spiritual gifts, we are not to glory solely in, or keep our gifts to ourselves. It's all about community, group effort, and uplifting others. We are all parts of one body in Christ Jesus. Some of us are the hands, some of us are the feet, some of us our the mouth. We all have our purpose, and we were all created with 'a' purpose. Every man has a purpose, and believe it or not, he doesn't really have to 'find it' to make it a reality.
I encourage you, the reader, to read the following scripture passage from Corinthians 12 through the beginning of Corinthians 13. Just as the Spiritual gifts in many people all create 'one body', so should our talents in fellow Christians be used to create 'a body'.

1 Corinthians 12 ~

4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of serve, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues  and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distribute them to each one, just as he determines.

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body - whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free- and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason stop being a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body", it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but on body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!"And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that un-presentable are treated with special modesty, 24 which our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is the part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

And yet I show you the most excellent way. -

1 Corinthians 13 ~

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angles, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


Let us love our fellow Artists. We are to love above all else. If we have all the talent in the world, and the biggest dreams, but are self-centered what does it gain us? Where is the love in a lot of Artists? We are proud, we boast, we envy...we hold back kindness, we are self-seeking...
We need to follow the example of the scripture and find the true key to "success". We must put others before ourselves. Yes, it sounds hard...and 'no' it's not easy, to encourage other people's dreams when you are in doubt about the reality of your own. But, give your dreams to God. He will take care of them. He will lift up those who humble themselves in His own true time. God never leaves the good man behind. If you seek first His kingdom and His will, He shall give you the desires of Your heart, and make your paths straight.

So try not to be too offended by other Artists...don't let them discourage you...but pray for them, that they would see the 'greatness' in 'love' and 'generosity'. Pray for men and woman to stand up from the crowd who will be Artists who are driven not only by self gain, and who are not blind to the needs of others. There is a need for artists who are willing serve, willing to live for a purpose greater then themselves.

God, make us a body. God, give us purpose. God, do your will in and through us Artists.
We give you our dreams, we give you our fears, we give you our anxieties.

Let us be known as those Artists who 'build up' and don't 'tare down'.

Trusting in God's Promises

Most all of us have dreams, or goals that we hope to accomplish or obtain in life. But along with those dreams and goals we have anxieties. Anxieties that those same dreams and goals, won't come to pass, or that we won't obtain them. Ever.

Have you ever felt like though, no matter your fears, that God has promised you something? Perhaps you haven't actually heard the His voice wake you out of a deep sleep, or reveal himself and his promise to you in a vision...or perhaps you have...yet, maybe you were made aware of God's promise to you in another fashion; though the words of a friend, in your quiet time with God, in his word, a sign... confirming occurrences, or words that appear over and over again to you... However you were awakened to the "voice of God", He did "speak to you", and you know it...Sometimes you might 'doubt' the fact that God made a promise to you, but you know that He ‘did’. How do you know? Because even when you may fear that perhaps God didn't promise something to you, still, deep inside you keep 'waiting', you keep 'expecting' what you hope for, to one day happen. You haven't given up on your desire for ‘what’ God has promised...but perhaps you just don't know if God will really keep his word in 'fulfilling it'?

'Promise' definition:

Noun: A declaration of assurance that one will do a particular thing, or that guarantees that a particular thing will happen.

Verb: Assure someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen.

Ever read the story of Abraham in Genesis? If so, did you notice that almost in every chapter of his story God tells Abraham that he shall have his own son…but Abraham has to be constantly reminded of God’s promise to him, because what he promises seems impossible.

Genesis 12: 1-2 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your Father’s household and go to the land I will show you. 2 “I will make you into a ‘great nation’ and I will ‘bless you’; I will make your name great….

Then in chapter fifteen:

Genesis 15: 2 But Abram said, “O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I ‘remain’ childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” 3 And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir. “ 4 Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir. “ 5 He took him outside and said, “Look up at the heavens and count the stars – if indeed you ‘can’ cunt them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be”. 6 Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

Then in Genesis seventeen:

Genesis 17: 15 And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. 16 And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her. 17 Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? And shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? 18 And Abraham said unto God, “O that Ishmael might live before thee! 19 And God said “Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shall call his name Issac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant and with his seed after him.”

Notice here how Abraham says unto the Lord; “O that Ishmael might live before thee!” There are a few ways one might take this, but when I read it I think of all our failed attempts to ‘bring about’ God’s “will” in our lives. We do this, and we ‘do’ that, and there comes a time when we look up and ask God “O if only my attempts, if only my works could bring about your will!” But that's not the way it goes is it? We cannot 'make' providence happen in our lives, only the Holy Spirit can do that. If it were 'us' that made all the good things in our lives come to pass, and our dreams be fulfilled, then life would be all about 'us'. And it's not. What I think is that, if a man can 'make' happen his dreams all without God's help, then there's good cause to believe that his dreams were never Christ Centered, or focused on anything but the gratification of 'self'. Worthless dreams, that will not live after the individual is gone. I don't know about you, but I want what I do, my dreams to make an impact on the world, and those around me. I don't want something that will only bring happiness to 'myself'.

In Genesis eighteen 10- 14 God's messanger tells Abram and Her husband again, that they shall have a son.

And in Genesis 21:1-3 God's promise is fulfilled: And the Lord visted Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did unto Sarah as he had spoken.....5 And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Issac was born unto him.

 Sometimes God's promises take a long time to be fulfilled, but wow, He 'always' keeps his word.

Notice it took 25 years in this case, for what God promised concerning Abraham to come to pass. He was 75 when the promise first came to him that he would have a son, and 100 years old when it was fulfilled. Isn't God amazing? His timing is perfect. He perhaps waited until there was no possible way Abraham could 'do it on his own', and did the "impossible". I tend to believe God likes doing that. He comes when we realize that we can't possibly make our dreams come true on our own. His promises are like tickets. Tickets that never expire, nor are made void by impossibility. The train will 'chug' no matter the weather, no matter what. God's promises are true 'garantees'.

Sometimes though we get tired of waiting for God to 'answer our prayers' or 'keep his word' and in result we go to other things, or go for 'second best' or even doing things the 'world's way' (sinning) to get what we want...to take the place of what 'God has promised'; like Sarah and Abraham did in involving Hagar in their desire for a son. Genesis 16: 2- 5. Notice though what happenes when we 'jump the gun' and don't trust in God's promises? We bare fruit that doesn't line up to God's perfect will. I feel like we have the tendency to do the same thing, we we go to things, or do things that we know 'isn't what we should be doing' because God has promised more to us. But when God finall does fulfill his promises to us and our lives...we regret our hasty actions that we did when we didn't trust God would act on his promises; just like Sarah and Abraham did in Genesis 21:9-11...

God always keeps his promises, and fulfills what he has promised.

So what sort of promises has God made to you? There are some promises that God has made to all of his children.

He has promsied that he will never leave us or forsake us.
He has promised that he will supply all our needs according to Christ Jesus.
He has promised that we will be taken care of.
He has promised that those who trust in Him, He will direct their paths.
He has promised us eternal life.
He has promsied to give rest to those who come to Him.
He has promised peace and joy to those who's minds are set on Him.
He has promised victory for those who surrender to Him.
He has promised strength to those who seek it from Him.

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/the-promises-of-god-10-powerful-bible-verses-1/

The list goes on, and on, and on!

Do you trust God to make good his promises to you as his child?

Sometimes peace seems unibtainable. Sometimes shadows hider your sight. Sometimes the night stretches long into the morning. But peace can be yours, and the light can penetrate the darkness that surrounds you.

Trust in God. And for those of you who feel God has given you dreams, goals, visions...made a promise to you of a better life, or a life of influence...Don't settle for less. Joy comes with the sun rise, and one day you will wake up and God's will has had it's way in your life. If God has promised anything to you, you can be asurred that he will fulfill it in your life. Trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6

Go with God. And keep your eyes on Him. He is God over all impossibilty, He is God and you are not. Imagine all that you could do to make good possible, make your dreams possible...God can do far more. Have faith.

Philipians 1:6 - God will complete His good work in You.

 

A Longing Heart: Prose

When there aren't any words, there is a pause in my heart. When there aren't any words, there is a pause in my soul. I can feel it, like a great distancing, I can fill it like the tide that never came in. But, I can't...I just can't wait for the tide...It I don't have words, I don't have my life. Oh, I know, I know where the creativity comes from, I know, I know where the lyrics start. I know, I know, where my sanity comes from...it's sown and harvested in your heart. And I've tried to understand it, I've tried to keep on going, but without your divine inspiration, I can feel my gears slowing. Why don't I just go for a reload in fuel? Why do I run it out to the very last gallon? It's as if the station was a fragment of my imagination, I know it's there, but I keep on racing.

But I know life is not a 'rat race', yet I try to believe it to be true...If only I didn't feel the constant ignition in my mind to just do, do, do. And it's not the same as being active like an athlete, it's deep down in my stomach, where no one can see it. It's a churning for fulfillment, like a hamster on his wheel; he runs to no goal in sight, and yet he can't stop for what is real. I know what it all comes down to, I know what it is I seek. It's the truth that I need to ignite me, it's love that I need to calm me, and slow me down to breathe. Cause deep down inside I'm like the hamster on his wheel, I need the gospel to cut past my bubble, and take me further than I feel.

Nothing can fill, but Jesus himself. You can travel the world, ride high on a balloon, or even mount an elephant, but nothing can fill the heart that longs for it's true love, no nothing, it just can't. You can run away from your making,you can try to escape, but there will always be a timer ticking in your soul, just waiting for the day...

  I've heard that God is beckoning from His place on high, and that He comes down to every man and can open up his eyes. I've seen the Master's hand, I've read the words so true...yet why is it that every once in awhile I feel the weight of what it's like with only a "gallon" of you? It's ridiculous in a way, cause why don't I just take the time to fill? I get frustrated at our connection when, it's only my own time that I've got to kill. And I've made myself a servant of my own demand of your time, and I repent for my doubts, as if it's all required to fit 'my' own mind. But, perhaps you could have mercy and consider where I am? Sometimes I wish I'd just shut up, and wait patiently on your hand. And if I had the choice, I know I'd pick your majesty, but you know that I'm selfish and could tend to worship the 'produce' instead of the 'Guarantee'.

So here I am again, my only truly devoted friend. Your lovely, and your awesome, and yet I stand here with empty hands. And in times of darkness I have doubted that you want to fill my heart, but when I look back on those moments, I think it was truly my 'self' that reflected on what I thought was 'your' part.  Please open up your word, open up these eyes, and run away the complacency, run away the lies. I'm a sick soul, without the grace to fill, I'm a blank canvas, with a gaudy frame. Because no matter how much I run, no matter how  much I scrape, all my ambitions will only work to make the 'filler' and not the 'cake'.

And I don't want to live a life that's 'meatless', a life without the 'weight', I don't want to build up my own world, and not your body...for your name's sake. And I sometimes I wish it was instantaneous, like you could just breathe it into me, and then I see the endurance, the patience it takes to get down and stay on my knees. And I want a balanced faith, I don't want it all to be too easily attained, but God please have mercy and don't stay away too long, cause It's hard to trust that I'll wake up out of the 'distancing' game.

A heart of longing deep inside...a heart wanting to lay down the pride...a heart that needs you to survive...here I am...make it rehabilitation...let me remember the joy of my salvation...God I ask for a heavenly visitation...just You...take it from here...here's my doubts, here's my fears...run away the lies, and open these new skies...the horizon awaits, and I know it's there...a purpose, and fulfillment in you...that doesn't die 'anywhere'. And take this longing heart, and make it into a piece or art. Be the produce of my life, and paint it with your colors. That everywhere I may leave a trail or reflections of Your light...that the colors may be bright...and point to you.

Poetry Again: The "Business" of Being

                                                        ~ The Business of Being ~                                                  9/24/12

There is a gift, a gift of sound...it travels lightly, above the ground. It follows closely to every word, it travels freely from the beaks of the birds. The gift of sound jumps up the steps, of black and white keys, and escapes in yelps. The gift of sound breaks way from the wind, in the echo of the motor, or the splash of a fin. Over ground, and under water, from the voices of our sons and daughters.

There is a gift, a gift of hearing..it's possessed by the ones who can see, sounds of subtle - similarity.

There is a gift, a gift of sight...it awakes in the morning light. It shows it's self even in the dark, by the shine of the tiniest spark. It pierces through the open soul, when used to imagine the invisible. The gift of sight paints color, blues, and golden, towers and boulders. It drops it's wrapping at the moment of birth, eyes are opened and worlds break forth.

There is a gift, a gift of seeing...it's used by the ones who can hear, angles and images call their names, and reflect imagination's happy tears.

There is a present, a present of touch...it arouses understanding in the heart of us. It waits along the potter's wheel, until soft hands advance, and feel. The present of touch dances on electricity, through ones fingers, and rises on hair's end. The present of touch grabs for your hand, it brushes against the legs of your pants, it pats it's great tail and falls in your lap. Like a kitty, it purrs, and relaxes.

There is a present, a present of feeling...it can be owned by the heart of a person, unwilling.  It can open our eyes, and stuff up our ears, and un-noticeably associate with the memories of past years.

There is a present, a present of motion...it sways back and forth, like the waves of an ocean. It slides up and down the slanted desk, it ripples, and prances in the skirts of a dress. It raises it's arm, and lifts up it's chin, it  pliés, and curtsies, and whirls like the wind. The present of motion blows in the sail, and presents it's self to the sailor who has awaited it's bail. 

There is a joy, a joy of acting...it picks up the senses, and gets your laziness packing. It is the accumulation of sight, smell and sound; motion moves it's legs around and around. It'll walk on sidewalks, and romps through the woods, it even flies with the arrow of  the good ol' Robin Hood. The present of acting, or doing, or being...it is the poetry of the gifts we've been given.

There is a joy, a joy of life...there is a joy, a joy of being alive. It is realized by the individuals who see it as being worth the while. They are the ones who take advantage of it's many gifts, and breath, and move, and thank God with it's "business"...

~ AJ. Childs

First Place in the Original Screenplay Contest!

Hello Folks!

This past week I've spent at the 'Gideon' film conference and festival...It's a great week of film classes, fellowship, networking, and Christian films!
This year I entered into the Original Screenplay Contest at Gideon. Over this past year I've finished my first feature film length screenplay...it was something that I'd been hoping to do since the original story concept popped into my head. Entering into the contest might not sound very daunting, but it was...the hardest part was the night right before the day I was going to send it in. Errors kept occurring, my printer was acting up, and I took one look at my screenplay and thought (as well as verbalized) that it was just not happening...
Well, things worked out and I did actually get it sent in before the deadline, relief...
To my great surprise I received an email a month or so later saying my screenplay was one of the finalists! Unbelievable. Third place was fine with me, I mean after all...it was my first full length screenplay.

The final judging/announcement would take place on one of the last days of 'Gideon', at the banquet. In the days leading up to the banquet at Gideon, I didn't think too much about the my placing in the contest. Being a finalist, in all honesty, was big enough in it's self! But then, there was that one moment...when I was sitting in the audience at one of the services at Gideon, and I heard the Speaker talking about "Great things happen at Gideon...and God makes great things happen for those who seek Him first...and I thought, is it really possible that God would let me win the screenplay competition? I didn't dwell on it much, after all, God had a lot to make happen for each of the individuals there. Did he really have enough time and room to consider me?

The night of the banquet me, my mom and my brother, as well as quite a few other Gideonites, (including  another one of the Screenplay finalists) got stuck together in the elevator. As the seconds turned into minutes, the panic rushed inside...well, how dramatic...an elevator death... Was I never actually going to get to the banquet to go up for my award?

And then the door opened, and I made my way to the banquet hall, then into the room...a bit late, but I'd made it none the less.

The first contest announcements were for the Music contest...and then they would announce the Original Screenplay Winners. I began to shake, suddenly I had no appetite for the fine meal in front of me...even if it was spaghetti...I hadn't expected to get so excited and nervous...but it was happening. The music finalists took their awards, and the 3rd place screenplay winner was announced. I was surprised, it wasn't me. The man who announced the contest winners, asked for the other screenplay finalists to come stand by the stage, to be ready to come up when called. I walked in front of the small stage, and stood by one of the spot light stands. Second place was announced, it went to a man who wasn't able to attend. Suddenly, where there probably should have been emotional explosion, a peace came over me. I'd won. The announcer spoke into his mic, "And the winner for the Original Screenplay Contest is...Anjelica Childs..." You couldn't hear the rest of his sentence, because of the reaction of the audience..."for her screenplay 'Alone in the Midst' "...I heard many people not only clapping for me as I went to get my award, but cheering as well!

I knew what I wanted to say on stage, but strangely I wasn't given the opportunity to give a speech. I was going to thank 'Gideon' for the opportunity, my Mom for encouraging me to 'go for it' and not give up...and then, most importantly, I wanted to thank God...for the inspiration, and for His blessings. After all, it was He who'd made it a reality...not long after the banquet, I discovered that my friends were praying for me to the win the contest, which I didn't previous know...I knew God had given me a gift, He'd known the desire of my heart, and He'd answered my question; "Yes, I do care for each individual personally...I care about each individual's desires...And I will give you the desires of your heart, and bless you... if you put Me first."

God is soo good. It's not the actual 'winning' or receiving 'awards' that made me consider that, but the fact that God 'cared enough' to consider my little desires...when it light of bigger things, winning a contest is so very small. But God, loves us, and he cares about the desires of our hearts.

So...don't give up! In everything you do, do it to the best of your ability...and then, let God take care of the rest. I think the answer to winning, and the answer to truly succeeding in this life, is not to 'want to be successful' above all else...God tests our hearts, and sees the desires of our hearts...But if we let our desires, career, or anything for that matter become more important to us than Christ himself...than I doubt he shall answer our prayers for what we want, or readily give us the desires of our hearts. That is why the Bible says that if we "Put first he kingdom of God, 'then' all these things shall be added unto you"; in other words God says "I will give you the desires of your heart, if in fact, I am the first desire....or your desires are not soooo important to you. If I can see that you can be satisfied with little, I will give you much."

 Wow...this is so powerful, and so convicting...I know I definitely haven't "arrived". The fact is I'm so undeserving of the good God gives...I'm unworthy of any of the good he gives me.  I know I trusted Him in this one area, but sometimes, and I think most any artist can relate...I feel like my projects get more time than my actual 'time alone with God'. And then I know there is a balance to that, because sometimes as artists...our 'alone time with God' is actually the time when we are 'creating'...and that is when we hear from him, and share him the most...through our art.

Anyhow, keep working hard at your goals reader, and trust in the Lord with all your heart...in all your ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct your paths...God is good. Bless him, and give him the glory for all your successes, and remember...He is 'your' creator, and you are his project. May we be molded like clay into the image and character of our God  who loved us enough to never give up, 'on us'.