Poetry Again: The "Business" of Being

                                                        ~ The Business of Being ~                                                  9/24/12

There is a gift, a gift of sound...it travels lightly, above the ground. It follows closely to every word, it travels freely from the beaks of the birds. The gift of sound jumps up the steps, of black and white keys, and escapes in yelps. The gift of sound breaks way from the wind, in the echo of the motor, or the splash of a fin. Over ground, and under water, from the voices of our sons and daughters.

There is a gift, a gift of hearing..it's possessed by the ones who can see, sounds of subtle - similarity.

There is a gift, a gift of sight...it awakes in the morning light. It shows it's self even in the dark, by the shine of the tiniest spark. It pierces through the open soul, when used to imagine the invisible. The gift of sight paints color, blues, and golden, towers and boulders. It drops it's wrapping at the moment of birth, eyes are opened and worlds break forth.

There is a gift, a gift of seeing...it's used by the ones who can hear, angles and images call their names, and reflect imagination's happy tears.

There is a present, a present of touch...it arouses understanding in the heart of us. It waits along the potter's wheel, until soft hands advance, and feel. The present of touch dances on electricity, through ones fingers, and rises on hair's end. The present of touch grabs for your hand, it brushes against the legs of your pants, it pats it's great tail and falls in your lap. Like a kitty, it purrs, and relaxes.

There is a present, a present of feeling...it can be owned by the heart of a person, unwilling.  It can open our eyes, and stuff up our ears, and un-noticeably associate with the memories of past years.

There is a present, a present of motion...it sways back and forth, like the waves of an ocean. It slides up and down the slanted desk, it ripples, and prances in the skirts of a dress. It raises it's arm, and lifts up it's chin, it  pliés, and curtsies, and whirls like the wind. The present of motion blows in the sail, and presents it's self to the sailor who has awaited it's bail. 

There is a joy, a joy of acting...it picks up the senses, and gets your laziness packing. It is the accumulation of sight, smell and sound; motion moves it's legs around and around. It'll walk on sidewalks, and romps through the woods, it even flies with the arrow of  the good ol' Robin Hood. The present of acting, or doing, or being...it is the poetry of the gifts we've been given.

There is a joy, a joy of life...there is a joy, a joy of being alive. It is realized by the individuals who see it as being worth the while. They are the ones who take advantage of it's many gifts, and breath, and move, and thank God with it's "business"...

~ AJ. Childs

First Place in the Original Screenplay Contest!

Hello Folks!

This past week I've spent at the 'Gideon' film conference and festival...It's a great week of film classes, fellowship, networking, and Christian films!
This year I entered into the Original Screenplay Contest at Gideon. Over this past year I've finished my first feature film length screenplay...it was something that I'd been hoping to do since the original story concept popped into my head. Entering into the contest might not sound very daunting, but it was...the hardest part was the night right before the day I was going to send it in. Errors kept occurring, my printer was acting up, and I took one look at my screenplay and thought (as well as verbalized) that it was just not happening...
Well, things worked out and I did actually get it sent in before the deadline, relief...
To my great surprise I received an email a month or so later saying my screenplay was one of the finalists! Unbelievable. Third place was fine with me, I mean after all...it was my first full length screenplay.

The final judging/announcement would take place on one of the last days of 'Gideon', at the banquet. In the days leading up to the banquet at Gideon, I didn't think too much about the my placing in the contest. Being a finalist, in all honesty, was big enough in it's self! But then, there was that one moment...when I was sitting in the audience at one of the services at Gideon, and I heard the Speaker talking about "Great things happen at Gideon...and God makes great things happen for those who seek Him first...and I thought, is it really possible that God would let me win the screenplay competition? I didn't dwell on it much, after all, God had a lot to make happen for each of the individuals there. Did he really have enough time and room to consider me?

The night of the banquet me, my mom and my brother, as well as quite a few other Gideonites, (including  another one of the Screenplay finalists) got stuck together in the elevator. As the seconds turned into minutes, the panic rushed inside...well, how dramatic...an elevator death... Was I never actually going to get to the banquet to go up for my award?

And then the door opened, and I made my way to the banquet hall, then into the room...a bit late, but I'd made it none the less.

The first contest announcements were for the Music contest...and then they would announce the Original Screenplay Winners. I began to shake, suddenly I had no appetite for the fine meal in front of me...even if it was spaghetti...I hadn't expected to get so excited and nervous...but it was happening. The music finalists took their awards, and the 3rd place screenplay winner was announced. I was surprised, it wasn't me. The man who announced the contest winners, asked for the other screenplay finalists to come stand by the stage, to be ready to come up when called. I walked in front of the small stage, and stood by one of the spot light stands. Second place was announced, it went to a man who wasn't able to attend. Suddenly, where there probably should have been emotional explosion, a peace came over me. I'd won. The announcer spoke into his mic, "And the winner for the Original Screenplay Contest is...Anjelica Childs..." You couldn't hear the rest of his sentence, because of the reaction of the audience..."for her screenplay 'Alone in the Midst' "...I heard many people not only clapping for me as I went to get my award, but cheering as well!

I knew what I wanted to say on stage, but strangely I wasn't given the opportunity to give a speech. I was going to thank 'Gideon' for the opportunity, my Mom for encouraging me to 'go for it' and not give up...and then, most importantly, I wanted to thank God...for the inspiration, and for His blessings. After all, it was He who'd made it a reality...not long after the banquet, I discovered that my friends were praying for me to the win the contest, which I didn't previous know...I knew God had given me a gift, He'd known the desire of my heart, and He'd answered my question; "Yes, I do care for each individual personally...I care about each individual's desires...And I will give you the desires of your heart, and bless you... if you put Me first."

God is soo good. It's not the actual 'winning' or receiving 'awards' that made me consider that, but the fact that God 'cared enough' to consider my little desires...when it light of bigger things, winning a contest is so very small. But God, loves us, and he cares about the desires of our hearts.

So...don't give up! In everything you do, do it to the best of your ability...and then, let God take care of the rest. I think the answer to winning, and the answer to truly succeeding in this life, is not to 'want to be successful' above all else...God tests our hearts, and sees the desires of our hearts...But if we let our desires, career, or anything for that matter become more important to us than Christ himself...than I doubt he shall answer our prayers for what we want, or readily give us the desires of our hearts. That is why the Bible says that if we "Put first he kingdom of God, 'then' all these things shall be added unto you"; in other words God says "I will give you the desires of your heart, if in fact, I am the first desire....or your desires are not soooo important to you. If I can see that you can be satisfied with little, I will give you much."

 Wow...this is so powerful, and so convicting...I know I definitely haven't "arrived". The fact is I'm so undeserving of the good God gives...I'm unworthy of any of the good he gives me.  I know I trusted Him in this one area, but sometimes, and I think most any artist can relate...I feel like my projects get more time than my actual 'time alone with God'. And then I know there is a balance to that, because sometimes as artists...our 'alone time with God' is actually the time when we are 'creating'...and that is when we hear from him, and share him the most...through our art.

Anyhow, keep working hard at your goals reader, and trust in the Lord with all your heart...in all your ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct your paths...God is good. Bless him, and give him the glory for all your successes, and remember...He is 'your' creator, and you are his project. May we be molded like clay into the image and character of our God  who loved us enough to never give up, 'on us'.

My Review of the Yeti Pro Blue Mic

Hey folks! I just thought I'd give you a follow up on the recording mic I purchased months back...I said I was going to give a review on it, and so I am!

As you can tell Blue's Yeti Pro mic is very professional in appearance...and to no surprise- professional on the inside as well! Needless to say this was the very first USB Recording Mic I've purchased, but I'm hoping it will be my last!
When I first came across the Yeti Pro, I was torn in the decision between buying the 'Pro' or just the standard 'Yeti'. Why? Price...But everywhere I looked people were saying they'd bought the 'Yeti Pro' and recommended it. So, I went with the Pro. It took me awhile to actually try it out, but last week I put it to use! I had a friend come by that has some experience in audio recording/editing (more than I have) and together we discovered the power of this beautiful mic. I'm yet to try out all the settings and mess around with editing, but 4 hours were graciously donated to the understanding and experimenting of this mic.

First off, I will start by saying that when my friend and I first tested it out for recording we tried instrument and voice separately. Both the instrumental audio and the voice audio sounded a bit high at first, and I'm not exactly sure why. But after playing around with Audacity for a bit, the problem was worked out, and the true heart of the Yeti pro shown through. It was clear, accurate audio recording. Next, we tried recording both instrument and vocals at the same time. At first I wasn't sure how well that would work out, but with some testing I soon discovered that the Yeti Pro was well equipped to do that too! Over all the Yeti Pro proved it's self all that I hoped it would be!

I bought it with the purpose in mind to record the songs that I've composed/written. I also wanted a mic that I could plug in and record easily without much hassle...something I could use to record both instrument and vocal simultaneously, and it still end up not sounding like I recorded it with a hand held recording device. Jack pot! this mic was the answer to my prayers.

Now, I'm yet to try it out on a podcast, but from what I can tell and have read in other reviews, the Yeti Pro is great for voice overs and interviews...

What I like best about this mic is it's simplicity and it's ability to accommodate on the go, or un-planned recording. I like tech tools that you can whip out and use as soon as the inspiration hits, and this mic is a mini recording studio in it's self. So, my dreams of making my frist album might be coming true sooner than I thought! I'm going to try and upload a sample of the sound of this mic soon, until then, I hope you liked this little introduction to my newest piece of equipment!
Cheers!

A Word of Encouragment to the Artist

"No one can take your place...There is only one you." We artists who step into artistic society need to never forget that truth. You may meet those along the road who can paint better than you, who can write better than you, who can do whatever art you do better than you do....but don't let this get you down and out...the truth is art should be, and is...above all else...an expression of the artist...if art revolved souly around skill I doubt it would still be alive today.

Yes, skill is important for the success of an artist to a degree, but the truth is 'creativity' and art that is 'personal expression'...even if it is not accepted by others, is not worthless....because it is your freedom, your liberty, as an artist to express yourself, even if it's not as skillful as your neighbor's art! (Just don't push it on anybody else, or be prideful in it. Cause then, honestly, I would have something else to say to you hehe ;-)
. But, keep in mind that God has given us liberty... Even if we can't sing, God wants to hear our voice, even if we can't paint it doesn't mean we don't have the right to paint all we want...the truth is beauty comes from the inside out...and sometimes the way we see people, is the way we see art....

A note to the Artist tonight; Be yourself, and create even when no one sees, and no one will ever see what you create. Create even when it is not perfect...keep creating...it's your right...and it can only get better...practice takes bravery, because it takes courage and a certain about of  'freedom' to forget about the world, express yourself, and keep your eyes on Christ. This is a shout out to anyone who might be battling some perfectionism in their art, or lack of confidence in the worth of what they do. God knows your heart! and if you're o.k with that, then man create all you want, and let no one tell you that you can't go far...

A video I made of Lecrae speaking about the Gospel :-)

I have soo much footage from the Atlanta Christian Music Festival this year...

The 116 Clique was there, as was Toby Mac, Royal Taylor, Jeremy Camp and Casting Crowns, just to name a few. But I really think that LeCrae was a big attraction for the majority of people there, and this is a video of him speaking/preaching. Keep your eyes open for more videos of Lecrae in the near future ;)... Enjoy!

The Nature Art of Shadow and Rhyme

Read First:
 This is what you call sitting down, and trying to rhyme and write without any purpose in mind. Haha, it came out kindof funny....
                                             
                                                 The Nature Art of  Shadow and Rhyme.

Too many words have been shared. But it just won't go away, this feeling to outlet, this feeling to let my thoughts stray. And suddenly I realize, life is like a stream, rushing by me, and cooling off my feet. I see a bridge, in the distance, shadowed by the willow tree, weeping with emotion, beckoning me.

Nature comes alive, and rises with the sun, the sparkle of it's glow lingers long after it has gone.Winged creatures fly and whiz about my head, the water rises round me as I drop into it like my bed. I catch a glimpse of berries growing near the fence, ripening in the summer air, desirable and fair. I try to settle my thoughts, and sit along the shore, my ankles float in water, and my eyes close.

 The wind comes up behind me and blows against my skin, I sigh and take a breather as I forget where my mind has been. Is it bad to ponder to the point of seeming strange? Is it bad to wander into the land of dreams? Perhaps if I was wiser I stay away from this land, where there is never ending imagination and strangers run hand in hand. But I am not caged to the status of the still, nor am I afraid of bliss forever more.

Angels play melodies that get stuck within my soul, and as I sit in ecstasy, I toss pebbles in the water. Words weave between the trees, like banners of color they capture my eyes; these words are the colors of the artists supply, never ending, and like paint that never dries. I use them upon the brush of my thoughts, they go where I want and are heard without scoff.

 Memories try to drag me down into the valley of rain, but they cannot do so because I let them drain, even though they attempt to drive me insane... I whirl my rapper of caution and feel the freedom of my escape as I drop to my knees. Ahh, the loveliness of having purpose, ahh the loveliness of never feeling pain, ahh the loveliness of not caring what is said, nor crippling over vain anxieties.

 I dash off into the fields of sunflower, and realize that the sun is setting from the pass of hours. I run free, wild, and run up the road to the white picked fence. The fire flies guide me up the lane, the toads cry out from the pond, in the nearby valley of grain. Their golden heads of hair sway with the breeze, I catch a few in between my fingers as I pass by them in my speed.

And then I see it, the fall of what I feared, the revelation of what I'm doing, that I'm acting kind of weird. All of this fun, all the this fanciful chase, what is it for? where is my place? I've run round the globe seeing the beauty of life, realizing the wonder of what some others have passed by, but although there is awe in the doing of such, I realize that truly, it isn't enough.

The words disappear, the creek runs dry, the fireflies disappear, and the butterfly dies. I sit down on the dirt, ready to cry, but I cannot for the glimmer of hope passing by. I look out between the blades of wheat, and see the souls of a wander's dirty feet. He looks down at me and shares a grin, then reaches out a hand to help me up to him. I question how could he, when I am so low, surely he could consider letting me sit here and moan. But nevertheless, he bends close and whispers in my ear, "Hello, I am reality, but I'm not as bad as the loneliness you feel."

 I feel hope, then suddenly afraid...can he see that deep down inside, my mind has been made? I try to brush off the dust from my dress, and act like I don't know I'm looking a mess. I pin back my bangs at the high of my ear, and lift up my chin and look up to his eyes. And what I saw there took my for surprise, for looking right back I see the mirror of time, he was my shadow, and I was his rhyme.

This had all been a fine, fancy, game. My thoughts had wandered and come back round again. Was it all for the sake of escape? I'm still by the water, my hands on my face. I look out beyond the blinds on my eyes, and stop my creative wandering, and wave goodbye to my friend of  rhyme. But, it will be o.k, I'll make it just fine, cause I'll take the long rout home on the back road of pines, and all along I'll let my mind be still, cause I won't remember a bit of the journey, until...I see the shadow, and I take the notion...to lose myself in the rhymer's potion.

Pity me, pity me, I cannot get up, I've let me mind wander, and now I'll be paying it rough. Too many words have been shared, now I'll go hiding from the reader's stare. It's all been fun, but now it is through...I've disappeared with the sunlight, and now so shall you...

~ AJ. Childs

The Inner Storm of Loneliness

There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there is none faithful, and there is none truly 'all loving' but Jesus Christ himself. Even those who we are the closest with. And it's not always because a friend has forsaken us, or something terrible has happened to bring us to this realization, it's just life it's self, and this longing for fellowship and close friendship that you know that your friends, family, loved ones, just can't fill. The truth is when we spend time away from prayer, study and our secret place with God, we start to feel all alone, and we start to panic inside. Something is missing, something is wrong, and yet why is it so hard to go back to the corner and get on one's knees and confide in God? Why is it when we really need God, we go to other people instead?
The truth is life can be like a storm; waves of confusion and dark clouds of distress, nothing is certain, no one can be counted on to be there when you 'really' need them. Actually, it seems like when we really need a friend, that is when they are not around. When suddenly, we are at our worst and need to sit down and receive a reply from a pal, there is none. I think the reality is we just need Christ, and we are so darn blind to the fact that when we are the neediest, God holds the greatest fulfillment. And honestly, it is when we are at our neediest that we seem the most repulsive. People begin to think that you are trying to cling to them, or expect what they cannot or shouldn't have to give. And as we all know there are different sorts and types of friendships in this life.
 Overall, I don't blame God for leaving us in these sort of situations though, when we feel alone...because when we are at our neediest point, God knows that what we really 'need' is Him. He is the greatest 'filler'. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want...Lord, teach us to find our 'fulfillment' in You, to find our peace in You. I ask that You would have mercy on me, and bless all those that I know. I pray that loneliness would be surrendered for peace. Calm the storm of hurt, confusion, fear, loss, and doubt in my mind tonight. You know what I've been through before this moment, you know my anxieties, you know how this heart full of care beats for all I cross paths with in this life. I will never let go...You see the emptiness in loneliness...Lord, here I come. Down on my knees, heart bore out. Here my cries, have compassion on my inner storm. Calm it with your hands, Let me lie down beside still waters...where you restore my soul, and my peace. You are the friend of my heart, you are the love of my life, here I am, arms held high, touch this mind. You know me, in and out, there is never a misunderstanding between us. Therefore you see my need just as it is, and you usher me into your presence. Let's talk God...